It is incredible that you can't feel pain when you expected too much pain. I think it is the body's defense mechanism to avoid shock, or just self preservation. Or it is shock in progress thats the reason for the feeling or the lack thereof. And that's how it felt. I remember looking up, straight into the upcoming bright light. It was already dark and I was just walking in a trance when, it was too late. It went all black.
Breakfast that day was good. I had eggs, and a few pieces of bread. That's the usual food during this time of the day. A hot choco is spreading its aroma and is making me hungry even more. After eating and brushing my teeth, changed to my school uniform and Im off to school.
First period was Math. I'm not a fanatic of Math, but doesn't hate it. But today is not about Math. Today my attention is only for that particular person. There "she" was, seated 2 chairs behind me. Today is the day, I said to myself, breathing deep breaths. Today is the day.
Finally, a hand touched my forehead. Is he Ok? Is he going to be allright? I heard. Didn't really recognized who that voice was. Is it my mother? My senses has still not returned and I'm left in a state of what I can best describe as vegetative.
The bell rang and it was lunch time. I stood up from where I was seated and started approaching her. I put a smile on my face, but I felt it was too awkward and funny I shut my mouth and looked down. I passed by her. Today is the day, I promised that to myself. Well it was just noontime, I still have around 6 hrs more. I comforted myself.
Time is tricky. Sometimes you are bored to death and it seems there is a lot in your hands and you waste it. Yet, quickly you pray that you be given an "extension" because you have still many unfinished business- your disagreement with your parents, your fight to a friend, your unspoken affection, the forgiveness you seek.
I passed by her. And I turned back having mustered some courage. "Can we go to lunch?" - sounding like I rehearsed this line my entire life.
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