2 Ways

On my left is a wedding, while on my right is a funeral -of my motherside, I seldomly see, uncle.


While Im certain that the latter will certainly come and hopefully not anytime soon, the other one is something that may happen or not at all. But I wish it does, I want to see me in a wedding and I'm the groom.  




Family reunions - happens right after someone is laid to their rest. Isn't that rude to that someone who just died? When its my turn (again, knock on wood), please dont show your merry faces, eating delicious foods, laughing. Im dead, and it is not a holiday! 




Back to family reunions, Im not so fond of it. Especially when it is on my mother side of the family. Its just that Im not so close to them. They are these high-class type of people, with cars, with medical professions, airy kind of people - save some that I truly admire and respect. 




That awkward feeling of being introduced to your newly met cousins, sons and daughters of whoever ... I dont care who. But you pretend to care, shake their hands and give a smile. Me too feels awkward same as you do, thank you. I said deep in my thoughts. 




With no car, my family is forced to wait for other relatives to dump us to our place. And it's hassle to take a cab because their house are like at the top of the mountain premium subdivisions. One time, I just did that, feigning I have work to do, and it took me 30mins to go down the nearest exit, habal2x from the gate to the main road and a 2 time jeepney ride to comfort zone called home - hassle.  




So here I am staying and waiting for this dinner to be over. Obviously, I decided to just sit quietly at the farthest table, obsessively typing on this ipod to look busy, hoping that they would not notice me existing.  




Coz if they do, they will ask if I am already married, if I already have a child or if my nephew who I always carry is my own. Why Im so thin, where I work and what I do. Or the alternative of listening to their properties, recent trips abroad - which I prefer because I just nod and say yes and pair it with wide-eye amazement. It works, all the time. 




But I have this most dreaded thing that tops my list. When they talk about their sex lives! They just assume I get temporary deafness and tell their tales, and to add my mother chips in her tales too! Wahhhhhh! I wanna die and join the recently departed who is the very reason why this is all happening!




Im not against family reunions. But Im against forced ones! 




Thanks to my tita who always shows her affection towards us and tells us not to be shy, and does not in any way (in my memory) offended me or us for that matter. Also to one of my cousins who, even though we are not that close, but I can genuinely feel that she is happy to see me in one of these occasions.




Once upon a time, I wanted to be like them, now I just want to be human.