This is the last week of November and we are quickly moving towards the end of 2011. 2011, the year I got my groove (programming kind) back. This is not yet my end-of-year blog, I still got a month for that.
Our company's Christmas party will be held at Oakridge hotel, and it is Vegas themed. It will be next Sunday, yup December 4. I need to buy at least a polo shirt for the occasion as a quick inventory of my shirts all deemed them not suitable for party wear.
I also need to cut short (or go skinhead) but maybe just a super short cut because Im not confident carrying my head without a little bit of hair.
Anyways, December is just around the corner, Im excited for this party and whether I got a chance at winning the 2 million pesos.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Ten Years Matters
Last night was a revelation. I think in my drunken state I get to act moves that the typically sober me won't ever do. Thankfully, Im not (yet) on the sexually maniac mode, just liberal with flirtations. It also helps that the group Im with is not that kind of people, and I was not brought up with weak morals that brittles at the slightest provocation.
Im not in a relationship and it has been a long time since I've been in one. When I see couples, especially those on their early twenties, Im jaded and thinks that they will not last. Im not going to hide it but Im saying goodbye to twenties next year so Im still allowed "technically" to act young and stupid.
I'm not a fan of alcohol, but through the years I learned to handle it and I guess Im a success story (so far). Whenever Im drunk, I can still access my reasoning (albeit in a limited capacity) and it never occured to me yet to have blacked out totally and do super stupid things with only my primal instincts in control.
To be quick and precise.
I got drunk -> flirted with someone who have a bf, and someone very young -> being warm about it.
Flirting as described here is super let us say PG 13 but I think it is not how severe it was but the fact that you did something which may have a different effect if other factors may have been different, and the feeling that it was ok, knowing that you would not feel ok if it happened to let us say your younger sister or niece.
In the morning when things are a bit clearer and the world is much brighter, we got to chitchat a little. How young are you? 20. God I felt old and with the pulsating pain of my head, resulting from drinking mixed alcohol, it seemed that time flew away under my feet (in perspective of going out/partying/love life). I felt too old to do these things.
Hahahah, in reality though I feel young (and I still am), just dont throw the age reality because I was born on 1982. 10 yrs, accurately 9 yrs, wow these people were born when I was in grade 3!
The lesson from this encounter is to live life to the fullest because time does not wait for anyone it just goes and will never come back again. Also to take it slow on alcohol consumption because health is wealth and it is better to be on the healthier side of things.
Im not in a relationship and it has been a long time since I've been in one. When I see couples, especially those on their early twenties, Im jaded and thinks that they will not last. Im not going to hide it but Im saying goodbye to twenties next year so Im still allowed "technically" to act young and stupid.
I'm not a fan of alcohol, but through the years I learned to handle it and I guess Im a success story (so far). Whenever Im drunk, I can still access my reasoning (albeit in a limited capacity) and it never occured to me yet to have blacked out totally and do super stupid things with only my primal instincts in control.
To be quick and precise.
I got drunk -> flirted with someone who have a bf, and someone very young -> being warm about it.
Flirting as described here is super let us say PG 13 but I think it is not how severe it was but the fact that you did something which may have a different effect if other factors may have been different, and the feeling that it was ok, knowing that you would not feel ok if it happened to let us say your younger sister or niece.
In the morning when things are a bit clearer and the world is much brighter, we got to chitchat a little. How young are you? 20. God I felt old and with the pulsating pain of my head, resulting from drinking mixed alcohol, it seemed that time flew away under my feet (in perspective of going out/partying/love life). I felt too old to do these things.
Hahahah, in reality though I feel young (and I still am), just dont throw the age reality because I was born on 1982. 10 yrs, accurately 9 yrs, wow these people were born when I was in grade 3!
The lesson from this encounter is to live life to the fullest because time does not wait for anyone it just goes and will never come back again. Also to take it slow on alcohol consumption because health is wealth and it is better to be on the healthier side of things.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Cathedral Windows
This is not about the dessert. This is about the church. Cebu City Cathedral to be precise.
It's already been more than a year since I started to go to church at the Cathedral. Before, I go to church at Sto. Rosario, 3pm time celebrated by father Butch. I can't remember why I decided to shift churches, or why the Cathedral and why the 9:30am mass. It's one of those things you just don't worry and it gets into your system and starts a cycle.
So every Sunday I go to the Cathedral to hear mass. For more than a year I got to observe people that keep that schedule and sits approximately close to where I sit.
I applaud the whole family that goes to church every Sunday. It really is a wonderful sight when you see the whole family bonding or just being together at church. That's one thing I did not experienced I guess. When I was young, I can remember my grandparents bringing me to church. When I was a teenager I go to church with my siblings and cousins. When I had a relationship, I go with her. Now, I go by myself. I remember a gospel that says when at least two (2) people is gathered for HIS name, HE will listen. I guess I have to find that one person to go to church with.
Then there are those that go to church with dates. The typical "in-a-relationship" status, you have to be with your special someone on this Sunday. Putting God in your relationship is essential, if it's what inside the minds of those BF/GF going to church.
Of course there are those singles who goes to church with themselves (me included). Nothing much to say to them (us) because these people just want to listen and reflect to the words of God.
In the church I see babies, infants and those toddlers running, crying and playing inside the church. It doesn't bother me to see them busy with play, come on they don't even understand their parents yet much more the echoed sermons of the priest. It is refreshing to see children play innocently and just having the time of their life, enjoying and not caring what's around them.
I'm praying that the Lord will continue to bless me and my family and friends and His will be done.
It's already been more than a year since I started to go to church at the Cathedral. Before, I go to church at Sto. Rosario, 3pm time celebrated by father Butch. I can't remember why I decided to shift churches, or why the Cathedral and why the 9:30am mass. It's one of those things you just don't worry and it gets into your system and starts a cycle.
So every Sunday I go to the Cathedral to hear mass. For more than a year I got to observe people that keep that schedule and sits approximately close to where I sit.
I applaud the whole family that goes to church every Sunday. It really is a wonderful sight when you see the whole family bonding or just being together at church. That's one thing I did not experienced I guess. When I was young, I can remember my grandparents bringing me to church. When I was a teenager I go to church with my siblings and cousins. When I had a relationship, I go with her. Now, I go by myself. I remember a gospel that says when at least two (2) people is gathered for HIS name, HE will listen. I guess I have to find that one person to go to church with.
Then there are those that go to church with dates. The typical "in-a-relationship" status, you have to be with your special someone on this Sunday. Putting God in your relationship is essential, if it's what inside the minds of those BF/GF going to church.
Of course there are those singles who goes to church with themselves (me included). Nothing much to say to them (us) because these people just want to listen and reflect to the words of God.
In the church I see babies, infants and those toddlers running, crying and playing inside the church. It doesn't bother me to see them busy with play, come on they don't even understand their parents yet much more the echoed sermons of the priest. It is refreshing to see children play innocently and just having the time of their life, enjoying and not caring what's around them.
I'm praying that the Lord will continue to bless me and my family and friends and His will be done.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Health Plan
I've been planning this a long time ago, but things happen - mostly money problems that sidestep this plan. Currently, it seems that I can finally get this plan into action.
So what's this plan Im talking about? I call this my health plan. See, Im not the health buff, or a healthy looking person at least - so my goal is to become active in achieving a healthy lifestyle.
I have a list of what I should (or try to) do, and this is not in any particular order.
One is to have a general checkup. I mean from head to foot. I want to know if there is something wrong somewhere in my body. I dont want to get caught off guard.
About 3 months ago, I felt this pointy sharp sensation on my stomach, fortunately after some ultrasound (my very 1st) nothing was found. I even found out that my kidneys are doing ok, a BIG relief since I always thought Im going to die of renal failure because it is so prevalent in our family.
Another on my list is to see the dentist. I know Im not on the healthier side of oral health. It is really a hassle when talking to someone and you know they can smell your breath. I dont even like the smell. Im just afraid to go to the dentist because I know they like recommend to extract 5 teeth and do all those "necessary" procedures on my mouth. Aside from the financial burden, there is also that embarassment factor.
Dermatologist, I know what your thinking - skin care! Though I wont deny I want to have good skin - who doesnt? - my primary purpose for seeing the doctor of skin and hair is to have this "extra" skin growing on my waist checked. It was barely visible and non sensitive before but recently I noticed that it becomes itchy. Another reason is to check my scalp, as I have been losing my follicles fast lately, I just want to know if this is the genes or an infection of sorts.
Lastly, but not the least is I plan to go back to the gym. Vanity aside, I want to have a defined body that looks far from fragile. The reason Im not yet enrolled is because of the cost. I always reason to myself that I can always exercise at home or run, and I can use the cash in eating. However the home exercise plans always ends up me getting asleep and the running is dependent on uncontrollable and erratic weather.
Ahh, another one comes to mind, eating healthy! I mean fruit and vegetables at least one meal per day. But buying a fruit except for banana is a hassle and expensive and green leafy things are very hard to safekeep. Reasons, I know.
So all (or ar least some of) those things I would like to start before this year comes to a close.
Money, where have you gone?
So what's this plan Im talking about? I call this my health plan. See, Im not the health buff, or a healthy looking person at least - so my goal is to become active in achieving a healthy lifestyle.
I have a list of what I should (or try to) do, and this is not in any particular order.
One is to have a general checkup. I mean from head to foot. I want to know if there is something wrong somewhere in my body. I dont want to get caught off guard.
About 3 months ago, I felt this pointy sharp sensation on my stomach, fortunately after some ultrasound (my very 1st) nothing was found. I even found out that my kidneys are doing ok, a BIG relief since I always thought Im going to die of renal failure because it is so prevalent in our family.
Another on my list is to see the dentist. I know Im not on the healthier side of oral health. It is really a hassle when talking to someone and you know they can smell your breath. I dont even like the smell. Im just afraid to go to the dentist because I know they like recommend to extract 5 teeth and do all those "necessary" procedures on my mouth. Aside from the financial burden, there is also that embarassment factor.
Dermatologist, I know what your thinking - skin care! Though I wont deny I want to have good skin - who doesnt? - my primary purpose for seeing the doctor of skin and hair is to have this "extra" skin growing on my waist checked. It was barely visible and non sensitive before but recently I noticed that it becomes itchy. Another reason is to check my scalp, as I have been losing my follicles fast lately, I just want to know if this is the genes or an infection of sorts.
Lastly, but not the least is I plan to go back to the gym. Vanity aside, I want to have a defined body that looks far from fragile. The reason Im not yet enrolled is because of the cost. I always reason to myself that I can always exercise at home or run, and I can use the cash in eating. However the home exercise plans always ends up me getting asleep and the running is dependent on uncontrollable and erratic weather.
Ahh, another one comes to mind, eating healthy! I mean fruit and vegetables at least one meal per day. But buying a fruit except for banana is a hassle and expensive and green leafy things are very hard to safekeep. Reasons, I know.
So all (or ar least some of) those things I would like to start before this year comes to a close.
Money, where have you gone?
Thursday, November 10, 2011
The Blessings
Expectations, is one of the things I left behind because I don't want to be disappointed. In doing so I often set the bar low so that I can claim small victories. This is not bad per se but doing so makes me just ordinary and typical.
I often look at myself with prejudice. I really don't think of me being great at anything. If you heard me 'brag' it's either I'm joking or I'm pushed to saying those things because I need to protect myself or is in a group high praising ourselves for entertainment.
Im not rich. Im not 'that' smart. Im just typical. I work because I have to. I don't have my own company because Im not enterpreneurial. Im not in a committed relationship because even I decided Im not fit to be in one.
Im just being still and stale.
However, God still gives me surprises! And Im not complaining. Thank you God for always guiding me to the right way. Im always asking for your mercy and forgiveness, and the wisdom so that I can give more weight to what really is important. It's uplifting to know that even the unrelegious me, God still blesses me, believes in me.
From the words of Paulo Coelho, "enjoy your success, you deserve it" I'm quite enjoying the moment. Im happy and driven to do the things I like to do. What more can I ask? Still a lot, but Im taking my time and taking that one step at a time.
I often look at myself with prejudice. I really don't think of me being great at anything. If you heard me 'brag' it's either I'm joking or I'm pushed to saying those things because I need to protect myself or is in a group high praising ourselves for entertainment.
Im not rich. Im not 'that' smart. Im just typical. I work because I have to. I don't have my own company because Im not enterpreneurial. Im not in a committed relationship because even I decided Im not fit to be in one.
Im just being still and stale.
However, God still gives me surprises! And Im not complaining. Thank you God for always guiding me to the right way. Im always asking for your mercy and forgiveness, and the wisdom so that I can give more weight to what really is important. It's uplifting to know that even the unrelegious me, God still blesses me, believes in me.
From the words of Paulo Coelho, "enjoy your success, you deserve it" I'm quite enjoying the moment. Im happy and driven to do the things I like to do. What more can I ask? Still a lot, but Im taking my time and taking that one step at a time.
Thursday, November 03, 2011
The Mean Mail
Sometimes I'm mean. And sometimes I like to be mean - shhh, that's a secret.
One sure thing that irks me the most is when someone is being lazy at what they are supposed to and paid to do. What I can assure though is that years of experience has made me think a thousand times before reacting and instead divert my energies to thinking of 'creative' ways to unleash my upset emotions. It's not that I don't make mistakes, I do, but this is supposedly a work environment and we should present ourselves to look united to people outside our organization. It's not you against me - it is us working together to build something worth paying. Consider this a lesson, young person!
It really is not that big deal, and I'm just looking for a bit of spice on this rather plain office environment. I kind of miss the tension. So here's the deal: an email sent telling me that I'm confusing 'you' about the progress of this requirement. Of course it is confusing! It's not like we are learning ABC's. My one cent is you should have at least tried to read it thrice before pressing that 'send' email button.
There are many emails sent, it's part of your job to cut across the clutter and ignore the things that are not essential to you. You're young but it doesn't mean you can just cry foul over lots of emails - which are 'progress' emails.
Now to cut you some slack since you had a hard time reading emails I had this blog for the 'read between the lines' I replied, just in case you got 'confused'.
Me saying: "My apologies for the lots of emails regarding the progress of this RFQ which you find hard to comprehend."
What I really wanted to say: "Bullshit! read-reread, read! You son-of-a-b*tch!"
Me saying: "As clearly stated in the previous email regarding the status of the machines."
What I really wanted to say: "Do you know how to read? Or are you just challenged, mentally?"
So there goes.
To my officemate(s) who might read this: I'm just tired and sick and not my jolly self tonight. Don't take this too seriously.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
A Prayer
today, my god i pray
for a meaningful life
shared with others
consumed with love
but first i need to love myself
not hate what you gave to me
not want something you've given to someone else
not question your decision why not me or why me for that matter
today my lord i ask to be wiser
wiser in terms of living the life you lend
wiser in spending the time with the people i love
wiser in the directions i take my career
for all the things i ask
i say big thanks
for all these years
im living on this earth
for a meaningful life
shared with others
consumed with love
but first i need to love myself
not hate what you gave to me
not want something you've given to someone else
not question your decision why not me or why me for that matter
today my lord i ask to be wiser
wiser in terms of living the life you lend
wiser in spending the time with the people i love
wiser in the directions i take my career
for all the things i ask
i say big thanks
for all these years
im living on this earth
Birthday Blog
Nothing memorable happened that is worth blogging to the day of my birthday. Family drama is at bay, personal problems are in check, and work related worries are manageable.
Truly, my 28th yr in this world is a big testament that Im still blessed even though I haven't been a "good boy".
Let's count the blessings, 1st up is that this is my 2nd birthday in the same company since 2008, it's a milestone because I've known people that I can add to my bucket of friends.
Not far from the first is that I still have a job! It's not the perfect job that I was hoping all these years but Im learning to love it a little day by day. And day by day Im reliving the life of a passionate programmer. The feeling is like falling in love the second time around, its a great relearning experience. Maybe it is not that sweet but I get to appreciate the industry more and not easily fall into desperation when things doesnt go my way.
As always, I love being outdoors, in the countrysides and most especially being at the beach -nothings beats that! So that's what I did the whole summer starting February - travel.
Singapore and Palawan are one of those places I dreamt of going, and I've gone there this year! So thankful that I've seen and enjoyed those places.
Lastly, and certainly not the least is the daily little things that makes me complete; seeing my nephew and niece growing up and having their own personalities, my complete (in numbers) family. The time spent with my old as well as new friends.
Now I may open up more space here (pointing at my heart) for that someone that may like to live there forever :) Keeping my fingers crossed, Im still young, no rush.
Truly, my 28th yr in this world is a big testament that Im still blessed even though I haven't been a "good boy".
Let's count the blessings, 1st up is that this is my 2nd birthday in the same company since 2008, it's a milestone because I've known people that I can add to my bucket of friends.
Not far from the first is that I still have a job! It's not the perfect job that I was hoping all these years but Im learning to love it a little day by day. And day by day Im reliving the life of a passionate programmer. The feeling is like falling in love the second time around, its a great relearning experience. Maybe it is not that sweet but I get to appreciate the industry more and not easily fall into desperation when things doesnt go my way.
As always, I love being outdoors, in the countrysides and most especially being at the beach -nothings beats that! So that's what I did the whole summer starting February - travel.
Singapore and Palawan are one of those places I dreamt of going, and I've gone there this year! So thankful that I've seen and enjoyed those places.
Lastly, and certainly not the least is the daily little things that makes me complete; seeing my nephew and niece growing up and having their own personalities, my complete (in numbers) family. The time spent with my old as well as new friends.
Now I may open up more space here (pointing at my heart) for that someone that may like to live there forever :) Keeping my fingers crossed, Im still young, no rush.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
October is On!
(this is a delayed post)
The 10th month. A little bit of history, the month of October used to be the 8th month, that is why if you analyze the name octo - means 8. It's because of the Romans, they've added 2 more months which is June and July - in honor of Julius Caesar (pls. consult wikipedia for accuracy).
I have to say, other than my birthday and many cousin's birthday this month, October is one of my least favorite month. Why? It has no holidays in it! It is typhoon month (but as I am writing this, there is yet a typhoon forming, blame it to climate change) and most especially it is busy month at work.
Another reason is, for me, it signals the end of the year. With only 2 months more until the new year comes, what have I done this year? What have I accomplished? Did I become better at something? Reflection happens, you realize that time passes us so swiftly like a bullet train.
October, the 10th month is a time for me to reflect and take a look back where I am and where I wanted to go. The journey matters as much as the destination, it is incomplete without the other.
At this moment, I will be looking out and be alert and give more attention to whose people I am journeying with. Be it my officemates I see everyday, my aging parents, newfound acquintances, old friends, previous co-workers, etc.
I have to connect with people more. October may signal the start of the year-end but definitely it also is the beginning of our journey towards self improvement and fulfillment.
The 10th month. A little bit of history, the month of October used to be the 8th month, that is why if you analyze the name octo - means 8. It's because of the Romans, they've added 2 more months which is June and July - in honor of Julius Caesar (pls. consult wikipedia for accuracy).
I have to say, other than my birthday and many cousin's birthday this month, October is one of my least favorite month. Why? It has no holidays in it! It is typhoon month (but as I am writing this, there is yet a typhoon forming, blame it to climate change) and most especially it is busy month at work.
Another reason is, for me, it signals the end of the year. With only 2 months more until the new year comes, what have I done this year? What have I accomplished? Did I become better at something? Reflection happens, you realize that time passes us so swiftly like a bullet train.
October, the 10th month is a time for me to reflect and take a look back where I am and where I wanted to go. The journey matters as much as the destination, it is incomplete without the other.
At this moment, I will be looking out and be alert and give more attention to whose people I am journeying with. Be it my officemates I see everyday, my aging parents, newfound acquintances, old friends, previous co-workers, etc.
I have to connect with people more. October may signal the start of the year-end but definitely it also is the beginning of our journey towards self improvement and fulfillment.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Another Drama
I'm shameless putting all my family drama on the web for anyone to read. Though I'm pretty sure its just a handful of people who read my blog. But anyways here goes another family drama served hot!
My other siblings started it (at least its not me who started it for starters). A comment on how the dad of my nephew and niece is always MIA. One time he (let's put off names) arrived earlier than usual at around 7pm only to go out again. He did not even bothered to carry his children. I really wonder how many times does he gets his hands dirty with child work (bathing, take out the poo of his young children).
Now I heard it clearly, my mother's stand on all of this. She doesn't want us to interfere or comment because it will just bring trouble to our family. There goes the past again. Her sister before got pregnant at 15 and she doesn't gave a word about it. My mother has no job when she has 2 children and her siblings did not bother to say something to her badly.
So the villains in this story are: in the past it was my father's family. My father's parents and siblings because as my mother would recall it, treated her (us) badly. And now it is us (her son and daughters) for criticizing our youngest sister's husband and their lackluster parenthood. Pretty nice conclusion I might say.
What is hard for old people is that they think that all those years made them wiser and right. If you present your case in the best possible manner, you are disrespectful. My most hated is when they present these past events in pure gold, it is like hearing a life story of a saint. I don't say I don't have my blind spots and inexperience and bias - I accept that who doesn't have those? But all I want is not to be treated as an evil person planning to exterminate my sister's family.
What would I gain from that? Would I be happier, would it make me rich? Will it send me to heaven?
No.
I don't even know what I wanted out of all this ruckus. I mean all I ever wanted to see is that my sister will grow! I mean growup, be more hands-on with her children, try her hardest to be the best mother and not just laze around because she is tired of all the work and all the problem of being a parent - no one on this world FORCED you! To my brother in law, you are old enough to know what you should do! You brought two lives on this planet, do your share of guiding them to be NOT like you - that's the least you can do for them.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Till Passwords Keeps Us Apart
One sure way to be in a compromising situation is when you give your password(s) (ym, facebook, emails, etc.) to your "loved" ones. Yes, that simple password can turn nights into sleepless nights. Yet, there is a very simple solution to that problem, NEVER GIVE YOUR PASSWORDS in the first place, get it?
Case 1: The Cheating Boyfriend
Boy loves girl, girl so much in love with boy. Bliss, bliss, bliss (one bliss is roughly equivalent to 1 month). After about, you guess it, 3 months of bliss comes blood, virtual blood I assumed. Girl finds out that boy is playing hockey or whatever involving balls with another girl!
This is the 21st century, instead of fist fights and shouts, we get? Shoutouts, status updates, tweets and the ever famous video and photo scandal postings! Wooh, that's a lot of megabytes!
As they say, the players changes but the game is still the same (did I get it right?). Is it an act of fidelity and love when you give your social network password? Not in my book.
Case 2. Family Theft
You trust and love your family. When the world turns its back on you, who did not turn with the world? It is your family. Except for that simple green buck (it is not green in some countries), it's money! We have heard about that money is an evil thing, but there is much more evil than money alone. Money + the need for money.
You don't want to just open your web bank account to find out that, oopss a purchase was made, or a withdrawal has shrunken your bank account balance to the level of Atlantis.
Another lesson, don't give your credit card, atm card account PINs. If you really are generous, then give them a separate one where if they spend too much it wont hurt your ass. Sorry for the @$$ word mom.
Case 3: The Friendly Loan
We have been borrowed money from a friend or a family relative. It maybe that their child is sick, or they really need financial assistance. It is ok to loan money, you are a good friend anyways. But don't ever get to their nerves when they haven't completely paid you off yet or risk your receivables converted to molecules.
Albeit all these scenarios, we should love each other as we are told by our creator. But keep away from my password!
Case 1: The Cheating Boyfriend
Boy loves girl, girl so much in love with boy. Bliss, bliss, bliss (one bliss is roughly equivalent to 1 month). After about, you guess it, 3 months of bliss comes blood, virtual blood I assumed. Girl finds out that boy is playing hockey or whatever involving balls with another girl!
This is the 21st century, instead of fist fights and shouts, we get? Shoutouts, status updates, tweets and the ever famous video and photo scandal postings! Wooh, that's a lot of megabytes!
As they say, the players changes but the game is still the same (did I get it right?). Is it an act of fidelity and love when you give your social network password? Not in my book.
Case 2. Family Theft
You trust and love your family. When the world turns its back on you, who did not turn with the world? It is your family. Except for that simple green buck (it is not green in some countries), it's money! We have heard about that money is an evil thing, but there is much more evil than money alone. Money + the need for money.
You don't want to just open your web bank account to find out that, oopss a purchase was made, or a withdrawal has shrunken your bank account balance to the level of Atlantis.
Another lesson, don't give your credit card, atm card account PINs. If you really are generous, then give them a separate one where if they spend too much it wont hurt your ass. Sorry for the @$$ word mom.
Case 3: The Friendly Loan
We have been borrowed money from a friend or a family relative. It maybe that their child is sick, or they really need financial assistance. It is ok to loan money, you are a good friend anyways. But don't ever get to their nerves when they haven't completely paid you off yet or risk your receivables converted to molecules.
Albeit all these scenarios, we should love each other as we are told by our creator. But keep away from my password!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Aloofness Is Kicking In
I feel it reeking in to me like water to a sponge. I am not anti-social or hate crowds, I like to be with people- sharing stories, travelling and just be with people around. But sometimes mood comes in and I want to be left alone. In my mind I would wander to places where nobody can find me, or go to some place with only me.
It is weird, even I myself feels weird about it. I do not know the exact reason why or when it starts, I just feel it. Then I stop responding to conversation or just totally fake it. It is hard, make it impossible to fake genuine interactions. When you are interested, really interested time seems to pass by and you can't get enough from your talks. It is tiring to listen when Im on this state, I just nod, yes, no, maybe, not sure - questions, statements that comes my way. No eye contact, or hastily removing myself from the conversation.
I dream of being in a boat or high up in a mountain with lots of trees (I think they are called forests). Breathe the fresh air. Swim in a clear blue sea (ok not really swim, more like snorkel). I just want to be out under the sun and be with nature.
Then there is the reality that I have to work, and be in the city. That dream will come one day, I promise.
It is weird, even I myself feels weird about it. I do not know the exact reason why or when it starts, I just feel it. Then I stop responding to conversation or just totally fake it. It is hard, make it impossible to fake genuine interactions. When you are interested, really interested time seems to pass by and you can't get enough from your talks. It is tiring to listen when Im on this state, I just nod, yes, no, maybe, not sure - questions, statements that comes my way. No eye contact, or hastily removing myself from the conversation.
I dream of being in a boat or high up in a mountain with lots of trees (I think they are called forests). Breathe the fresh air. Swim in a clear blue sea (ok not really swim, more like snorkel). I just want to be out under the sun and be with nature.
Then there is the reality that I have to work, and be in the city. That dream will come one day, I promise.
I Want to Singa!
Yes! Im shouting it now! I want to go to Singapore and work there.
If things are only that easy..
I have lots of friends who are already there.
There is Juvy and her husband Jan who promised they can let me stay for a while in their apartment while Im still looking for work. Ate Belle and Joanna, one of my closest friends are also there and offering the same. Kenneth and his wife Jessica whom I met while working in Manila is inviting me the same.
If all goes well I have no problem with where I'll stay.
Now to the core problem. Will I be accepted at a job? And for how long will I be idle?
This scares me to the bone! Yes, you heard me, I'm scared to apply. It's never been easy applying for a job. For starters they ask you this nasty technical questions nobody really cares to do in the actual job, but you have to know it for the job interview.
Then there's the question of skills. How skilled am I now? I've been working as a programmer for almost 8 years now. You might surmised that I'm that skilled worker. Actually. Im not. I've been a jack of all trades, master of none type.
If I'll be totally honest in my interviews I would say the following:
I've been working as a programmer for 8 years now. I've coded web applications based on php, javascript with database (mysql). I was also a Java Certified programmer (if that still matters today), but I've got only 2 years of solid Java industry programming. Currently my project is in C++ but it's only maintenance and I only got to modify little code (no creation of classes much more design).
And can you not ask me those what is transient, volatile stuffs? I mean who use those in real life?
That's why Im not that confident because I'm not good enough. Even for me. Though some of my friends think that Im good to go.
But even though I really wanted to go to Singa ASAP, I will have to wait. I have to prepare myself because this is a big leap. Literally and figuratively.
If things are only that easy..
I have lots of friends who are already there.
There is Juvy and her husband Jan who promised they can let me stay for a while in their apartment while Im still looking for work. Ate Belle and Joanna, one of my closest friends are also there and offering the same. Kenneth and his wife Jessica whom I met while working in Manila is inviting me the same.
If all goes well I have no problem with where I'll stay.
Now to the core problem. Will I be accepted at a job? And for how long will I be idle?
This scares me to the bone! Yes, you heard me, I'm scared to apply. It's never been easy applying for a job. For starters they ask you this nasty technical questions nobody really cares to do in the actual job, but you have to know it for the job interview.
Then there's the question of skills. How skilled am I now? I've been working as a programmer for almost 8 years now. You might surmised that I'm that skilled worker. Actually. Im not. I've been a jack of all trades, master of none type.
If I'll be totally honest in my interviews I would say the following:
I've been working as a programmer for 8 years now. I've coded web applications based on php, javascript with database (mysql). I was also a Java Certified programmer (if that still matters today), but I've got only 2 years of solid Java industry programming. Currently my project is in C++ but it's only maintenance and I only got to modify little code (no creation of classes much more design).
And can you not ask me those what is transient, volatile stuffs? I mean who use those in real life?
That's why Im not that confident because I'm not good enough. Even for me. Though some of my friends think that Im good to go.
But even though I really wanted to go to Singa ASAP, I will have to wait. I have to prepare myself because this is a big leap. Literally and figuratively.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Reminder: Don't Get Too Old
As I was hearing my father, again for the nth time, how my grandfather would reprimand them (my parents) if they hear us (their grandchildren) cry (long ago when we were toddlers) - which would bring conflict between them (wooh, what a long sentence), I was reminded to not grow old too much.
Why? It was as if he is not listening to himself. He is telling us the story which is happening right now. You see, we have a 1yr old baby which screams and shouts every time she doesn't get what she wanted. It's not like we haven't had a baby before (Lance which is 4 yrs old now is quite tamed already because we can now talk and he now understands) - which is why I really don't get it when he tells us to not let the baby cry, as if we wanted our baby girl to cry - no scream!
And so my father would relate to us how our grandfather would scold them which results in conflicts between them because of us when we were young. These conflict would in my father's words "makes me nervous all the time". He doesn't want conflict, who does? But running away from conflict is a sure way of prolonging disagreement. My grandfather died a long time ago, but my father is still carrying this "nervousness", it's like a shadow that is constantly haunting him.
So that is why I have these little checklist for me not to fall on the same trap.
1. NEVER stay near your parents (or in laws for that matter) when you get married. This is not to say I will cut them from my life, what I mean is my wife and my family should not stay with either parents. A lot of conflicts will arise when you live with your parents. They think they know better than you and they will interfere with your decisions on and specially raising your children. Trust me I know the feeling.
2. Don't "golden coat" the past. I mean stop the rhetoric "when I was your age, I did this...it was hard but I succeeded..." Just get to the point. Your mistake would be different with your future children's mistake. It might look the same but the circumstances surrounding the events would be entirely different, unless they time traveled to your era.
3. Never let them feel unloved. Even at your busiest days, hug them and tell them you love them. Never fail. You may forget it one day and would realize they've gotten too old and have their own lives that telling them you love them is like gulping a gallon of condensed milk. You know how it feels like, right?
4. You are becoming too old when: you are not following what you committed. What I mean by this is that old people don't keep their word. They say things, promise things, plan things - which will never see the light of day.
5. You are becoming too old when: you get easily aggravated (manluod). Yes, keep tab on this one as this is a telltale sign of rushing to the wrinkle age.
6. Don't ever lose your sense of adventure! If you are starting to say "I've done that already... Too tired for that..Too old for that.." Well, you may be very right, you are too old.
7. Don't assume you are right ALL the time. Yes, you can never be right all the time, but the easiest way out is just to accept and say sorry when you are wrong as immediately as possible.
As of this moment of writing, I can only list 7, but I know as Im getting "wiser" I can certainly add more things.
It is ok to grow old - it is natural, unless you are a vampire, but don't rush it you have lots of time!
Why? It was as if he is not listening to himself. He is telling us the story which is happening right now. You see, we have a 1yr old baby which screams and shouts every time she doesn't get what she wanted. It's not like we haven't had a baby before (Lance which is 4 yrs old now is quite tamed already because we can now talk and he now understands) - which is why I really don't get it when he tells us to not let the baby cry, as if we wanted our baby girl to cry - no scream!
And so my father would relate to us how our grandfather would scold them which results in conflicts between them because of us when we were young. These conflict would in my father's words "makes me nervous all the time". He doesn't want conflict, who does? But running away from conflict is a sure way of prolonging disagreement. My grandfather died a long time ago, but my father is still carrying this "nervousness", it's like a shadow that is constantly haunting him.
So that is why I have these little checklist for me not to fall on the same trap.
1. NEVER stay near your parents (or in laws for that matter) when you get married. This is not to say I will cut them from my life, what I mean is my wife and my family should not stay with either parents. A lot of conflicts will arise when you live with your parents. They think they know better than you and they will interfere with your decisions on and specially raising your children. Trust me I know the feeling.
2. Don't "golden coat" the past. I mean stop the rhetoric "when I was your age, I did this...it was hard but I succeeded..." Just get to the point. Your mistake would be different with your future children's mistake. It might look the same but the circumstances surrounding the events would be entirely different, unless they time traveled to your era.
3. Never let them feel unloved. Even at your busiest days, hug them and tell them you love them. Never fail. You may forget it one day and would realize they've gotten too old and have their own lives that telling them you love them is like gulping a gallon of condensed milk. You know how it feels like, right?
4. You are becoming too old when: you are not following what you committed. What I mean by this is that old people don't keep their word. They say things, promise things, plan things - which will never see the light of day.
5. You are becoming too old when: you get easily aggravated (manluod). Yes, keep tab on this one as this is a telltale sign of rushing to the wrinkle age.
6. Don't ever lose your sense of adventure! If you are starting to say "I've done that already... Too tired for that..Too old for that.." Well, you may be very right, you are too old.
7. Don't assume you are right ALL the time. Yes, you can never be right all the time, but the easiest way out is just to accept and say sorry when you are wrong as immediately as possible.
As of this moment of writing, I can only list 7, but I know as Im getting "wiser" I can certainly add more things.
It is ok to grow old - it is natural, unless you are a vampire, but don't rush it you have lots of time!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
--.--.--
On Why Im Pissed
Firstly, I hate incompetent people. I thrive at competition. Friendly, contructive type of. There's nothing more satisfying when you triumph over, or if you lose - gain valuable lessons and insights you can use for your next battle.
Then there's the whole lot about risks and gains. Greater risks equates to bigger gains, supposedly right? What I don't get on this place is its rotten environment. People are in a way connected but distant. Some are helpful but with agenda. Others are brilliant but does not want to help. Still others are truly useful but unsharing.
I know every company has these type of people I described, but here they are way out of the normal proportions.
So Im whining. It happens to me once in a while. Letting my frustration out, emptying my brain. Nothing serious. I should whip my own business and get into a whole new dimension of trouble for once, but what business?
To begin, now Im having a renaissance love with programming. I lost it, I have to admit. But I regained it now. But I dont know where to start, where to begin. I left with Java and now Im crushing with .Net C#, and all those mobile development that is so hot right now. But Im effectively a newbie on this aspect technically.
I know, too many "buts". Im just letting out my frustration, Im not really thinking of a solution. Im just dumping it all in. So back to this environment, its getting tiring everyday. Everyday is a new problem day or getting away from a problem or facebook day!
That's my only resolve at this point, I can social network all I want! Heheh, social network as a verb. What to do now? Tomorrow is a working day, so work and try to make things done. Resolve and hope that everything will be ok. Im still not comforted but I got nothing to write about.
Firstly, I hate incompetent people. I thrive at competition. Friendly, contructive type of. There's nothing more satisfying when you triumph over, or if you lose - gain valuable lessons and insights you can use for your next battle.
Then there's the whole lot about risks and gains. Greater risks equates to bigger gains, supposedly right? What I don't get on this place is its rotten environment. People are in a way connected but distant. Some are helpful but with agenda. Others are brilliant but does not want to help. Still others are truly useful but unsharing.
I know every company has these type of people I described, but here they are way out of the normal proportions.
So Im whining. It happens to me once in a while. Letting my frustration out, emptying my brain. Nothing serious. I should whip my own business and get into a whole new dimension of trouble for once, but what business?
To begin, now Im having a renaissance love with programming. I lost it, I have to admit. But I regained it now. But I dont know where to start, where to begin. I left with Java and now Im crushing with .Net C#, and all those mobile development that is so hot right now. But Im effectively a newbie on this aspect technically.
I know, too many "buts". Im just letting out my frustration, Im not really thinking of a solution. Im just dumping it all in. So back to this environment, its getting tiring everyday. Everyday is a new problem day or getting away from a problem or facebook day!
That's my only resolve at this point, I can social network all I want! Heheh, social network as a verb. What to do now? Tomorrow is a working day, so work and try to make things done. Resolve and hope that everything will be ok. Im still not comforted but I got nothing to write about.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
An Act
Everything is an act
Sometimes you do it overtly
You need an acting lesson
To shield your incapacity
That's true
Im saying this to you
How can you always find faults
Not in yourself, always at someone else?
Incompetence you embody
Is sickening, and stressing
Talk about this and talk about that
Always not you, someone's a foe
So if I ever turn this piece to a melody
I would say, Adieu!
Go to the place where they burn souls
You belong there, am sure you do
The problem is not only other people
Mainly the problem is 90% after T.
The whole place is a mess
Everyone's talking and taking their own shit
The facade is not even convincing
I'm not a believer anymore,
You lost me at "unique"
So I'll go my way even if I'll stray
Someday you can read this,
And overheat that dying cells in your head
Exercise it a little maybe
By deciphering if this is you baby!
Sometimes you do it overtly
You need an acting lesson
To shield your incapacity
That's true
Im saying this to you
How can you always find faults
Not in yourself, always at someone else?
Incompetence you embody
Is sickening, and stressing
Talk about this and talk about that
Always not you, someone's a foe
So if I ever turn this piece to a melody
I would say, Adieu!
Go to the place where they burn souls
You belong there, am sure you do
The problem is not only other people
Mainly the problem is 90% after T.
The whole place is a mess
Everyone's talking and taking their own shit
The facade is not even convincing
I'm not a believer anymore,
You lost me at "unique"
So I'll go my way even if I'll stray
Someday you can read this,
And overheat that dying cells in your head
Exercise it a little maybe
By deciphering if this is you baby!
Baguio The 3rd
Oops. Looks like this blog is creepily becoming like a travel log. 2008. 2009. 2011 - this year is the year I went back to Baguio.
We stopped over at Am'z tita's place to leave our bags so that we can sight see Manila's historic place of Luneta and nearby locations without lugging our luggage :).
Many, many thanks to their graciousness, they are so kind and welcoming. Tito Arnel's wisdom is inspiring, should be like that when Im older. It is definitely an artist's house - the dinner table, mobile sculptures, stack of paintings, and most amazingly is the wolf and sheep fur! Loved it, its my first time to touch a real dead-animal fur.
Baguio Bound. We arrived at Baguio around 7am and it was foggy ang cold. It was such a nice feeling when the cold wind is touching your skin.
It's my third time, and it already feels like home. I can definitely stay in Baguio for long periods of time if I have somebody to stay while here and not stay in hotels or inns. I wish I have relatives in this part of the Cordilleras.
First stop is the most famous of Baguio streets, Session road.
It is still the same, with the traffic and cars parked on the road sides and makes it even more crowded. However the chaos it looks, it still is a charmer. Maybe because of the cold weather, people doesn't mind the disorder.
The rain only deterred us a little on our scheduled walks to famous places tourists should visit. It always does so in the afternoon, a good thing because we are tired anyways from all the walking in non plain roads.
Burnham park - check.
Boat @ Burnham - double check.
Biking - check
On our 2nd day we visited Wright park, the Mansion, Mine's view and the Botanical garden. So much green parks. I wish every city in the Philippines have at least one Botanical garden-esque park to pride of.
The 3rd day was spent at the Philippine Military Academy. It is a HUGE area! Precipitation comes in 2 forms here. Fog and rain. Fogs has this effect of making your surroundings eerily mysterious when they are all covered in white.
We did not forget to bring pasalubong of course. I only bought two sling bags and 3 jars of strawberry jam for home.
Goodbye.
Going back to Cebu on this super early flight, needs to work later. Ahh, and for the record I can now sleep on the bus! My next target is to sleep on the plane :D
Baguio rocks! And cool too...
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Trade-offs of Free Lunch
Im super hungry!
I can buy food for myself but this is free lunch - ok not totally free, but 36pesos partly free but uber delicious lunch~!
I have to wait...
I can buy food for myself but this is free lunch - ok not totally free, but 36pesos partly free but uber delicious lunch~!
I have to wait...
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Palawan Natural
The food is great! Fresh seafoods, fruits and delicious dishes. I ate like a king every night. Our first destination was the Bilao at Palayok place. It got a Japanese style as you would sit on the floor and not on chairs. But the food is all Filipino, and served in a large bila-o. Assorted delicious food!
On our second night, we dined at Kinabuch. And at that night I ate for the first time crocodile meat cooked ala adobo, and mangrove-worm locally known as "tamilok" ala kilawin. Of the two exotic, I would love to be served croc meat anytime of the day, as for the worm - another check on my bucket list (things I thought I will never eat category).
Finally, the famed Ka Lui for our last night in Palawan. You have to get a reservation to be able to surely dine on this place. We were a little disappointed by their minimalistic menu, but that escabeche and sinigang sa coconut milk is something new to my taste. Their CR is so clean! They also have a gallery that depicts local painters. Overall, a great last night in Palawan.
They say that it's the journey and not the destination, however, travelling through Palawan it's definitely both!
Our second day is spent island hopping! While on the boat I can clearly see the mountains are covered with forests and not subdivisions. The sea is clear and blue. But God, there are jellyfish as big as a basketball floating around this time of the season.
Once on the island, our guide led us to snorkelling with the fishes. And they are numerous! We walked on the streches of white sand along the narrow, partially submerged part of snake island. Have a fun pictrial at Starfish island and see the reef where you can spot a giant clam and more fish!
Lastly but certainly not the least is our city tour - on the 3rd day. We toured Mitra's ranch and bought hopia and other goodies at Baker's hill. We also had the opportuity to visit the crocodile farm where I've never seen such a giant crocodile in my life and those baby crocs in the hatchery.
I left Palawan on a sunny afternoon, but its memories will have a special place in my heart and most specially in my stomach.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
An Ode to Cebu City
Cebu City, the home for me
My province my City my Home
Though imperfections abound in every sight
And corruption holding your upward flight
I still choose you over any other city
Coz, its in you I feel proud to be within
It is where I was born
Nurtured and gain insights about the world
Educated, gained friends and feel love
Nothing is more precious
Is anywhere than in Cebu
From Magellan's cross
To the Basilica and the other churches
Of Spanish times and historic past
To the recently modern
Malls, Parks, highways and bridges
Of todays mighty buildings
You shine in the night
Maybe not the brightest of all cities I've seen
But you shine differently in my eyes
Especially here in my heart
My province my City my Home
Though imperfections abound in every sight
And corruption holding your upward flight
I still choose you over any other city
It is where I was born
Nurtured and gain insights about the world
Educated, gained friends and feel love
Nothing is more precious
Is anywhere than in Cebu
From Magellan's cross
To the Basilica and the other churches
Of Spanish times and historic past
To the recently modern
Malls, Parks, highways and bridges
Of todays mighty buildings
Maybe not the brightest of all cities I've seen
But you shine differently in my eyes
Especially here in my heart
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Happy 4th Birthday Lance!
My nephew turned 4!
Time really flies.
He now has a personality, at four he knows what he wants and what he doesnt want. He knows how to navigate the internet for his games and youtube videos that he likes.
Just this school year he had been enrolled in kindergarten.
As always, I always wish for your health, and well being Lance.
Be a good kid and grow up to be a good person.
Our family is always at your side to guide you in every way.
Time really flies.
He now has a personality, at four he knows what he wants and what he doesnt want. He knows how to navigate the internet for his games and youtube videos that he likes.
Just this school year he had been enrolled in kindergarten.
As always, I always wish for your health, and well being Lance.
Be a good kid and grow up to be a good person.
Our family is always at your side to guide you in every way.
Doubts
I am doubting my skills again.
Can I do this? Last week I felt like Im on the right way, but now? Im totally lost.
An alarm is now slowly awakening inside me. Im starting to get scared.
I have many things I want to try and accomplish, but my mind is not cooperating. Lately I feel weak and just want to sleep. Not that I dont get enough sleep at night, I do, but I still get sleepy in the morning specially right after lunch.
I have lots of ideas I want to try, new technologies and tools I want to learn. The problem is Im not driven to excel. That's the problem.
And I don't have a solution yet.
Hoping that this is just a temporary lull and will fade away soon.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The Feeling is Universal
I don't want to tell my disappointing story about immigration!
Now let me share about Singapore.
Singapore! I arrived at midnight and while travelling all I can say is "wow" this and "wow" that! That is how much I appreciate its beauty while Im inside the taxi. I was blown away by how clean and modern it is. Not that I dont have an idea, but seeing it right through my own two eyes is just surreal.
I love cities. The urban jungle as they say. I was born and raised in a city so Im no stranger to the city life. Years ago I saw this documentary about what they called Mega-cities. Cities with millions and millions of people in them. Surprise! Manila is one of them. That was also one of the reasons why I pushed through with my plan to work in Manila, to experience how to live in a crowded, urban jungle, a mega-city! Singapore is one of these mega-cities too! I had plans to be there but I was having these other plans but I digress.
Singapore is far-far away compared to Manila, and I don't mean the distance! I meant the progress! Manila (and the Philippines in general) is this tax burdened place with poor service and inefficient government with corrupt politicians in the mix. Singapore looks flawless in my eyes (I dont know its internal politics) but as someone new, I know that they are progressive and is continuing to do so.
Their transportation is very efficient and clean. One card for all payments. Their MRT is very clean and safe and also very cold. Their buses are clean and stops only at designated bus stops. Taxi drivers are polite and issues receipts. Did I mention that everywhere is clean?
My Singapore stay is too short to be conclusive that it is perfect, but for me Singapore is everything I dreamt of as a perfect city. Should be back. Soon. Hopefully.
Universal Studios Singapore.
My inner child surfaced! Thanks to the newly weds they treated me to USS. It's quite expensive but I got it for free! Life is wonderful!
There are many rides and attractions but I will never forget the Battlestar Galactica, Human and Cylon roller coaster rides! They were just breath taking! It's a must to ride them. After riding the Cylon coaster I just felt off. My head spins and I felt like fainting - and I was so pale they were alarmed. After sipping hot noodle soup and changing my sweat drenched shirt, my color re-appeared. And all was well.
Waterworld, Jurassic park's rapids ride, Shrek's Castle 4D show and other fun adventures and sights filled my day and my senses.
One of THE BEST Days of my life.
Now let me share about Singapore.
Singapore! I arrived at midnight and while travelling all I can say is "wow" this and "wow" that! That is how much I appreciate its beauty while Im inside the taxi. I was blown away by how clean and modern it is. Not that I dont have an idea, but seeing it right through my own two eyes is just surreal.
I love cities. The urban jungle as they say. I was born and raised in a city so Im no stranger to the city life. Years ago I saw this documentary about what they called Mega-cities. Cities with millions and millions of people in them. Surprise! Manila is one of them. That was also one of the reasons why I pushed through with my plan to work in Manila, to experience how to live in a crowded, urban jungle, a mega-city! Singapore is one of these mega-cities too! I had plans to be there but I was having these other plans but I digress.
Singapore is far-far away compared to Manila, and I don't mean the distance! I meant the progress! Manila (and the Philippines in general) is this tax burdened place with poor service and inefficient government with corrupt politicians in the mix. Singapore looks flawless in my eyes (I dont know its internal politics) but as someone new, I know that they are progressive and is continuing to do so.Their transportation is very efficient and clean. One card for all payments. Their MRT is very clean and safe and also very cold. Their buses are clean and stops only at designated bus stops. Taxi drivers are polite and issues receipts. Did I mention that everywhere is clean?
My Singapore stay is too short to be conclusive that it is perfect, but for me Singapore is everything I dreamt of as a perfect city. Should be back. Soon. Hopefully.
Universal Studios Singapore.
My inner child surfaced! Thanks to the newly weds they treated me to USS. It's quite expensive but I got it for free! Life is wonderful!
There are many rides and attractions but I will never forget the Battlestar Galactica, Human and Cylon roller coaster rides! They were just breath taking! It's a must to ride them. After riding the Cylon coaster I just felt off. My head spins and I felt like fainting - and I was so pale they were alarmed. After sipping hot noodle soup and changing my sweat drenched shirt, my color re-appeared. And all was well.
Waterworld, Jurassic park's rapids ride, Shrek's Castle 4D show and other fun adventures and sights filled my day and my senses.
One of THE BEST Days of my life.
The Feeling is Universal
I don't want to tell my disappointing story about immigration!
But first let me share about Singapore.
Singapore! I arrived at midnight and while travelling all I can say is "wow" this and "wow" that! That is how much I appreciate its beauty while Im inside the taxi. I was blown away by how clean and modern it is. Not that I dont have an idea, but seeing it right through my own two eyes is just surreal.
I love cities. The urban jungle as they say. I was born and raised in a city so Im no stranger to the city life. Years ago I saw this documentary about what they called Mega-cities. Cities with millions and millions of people in them. Surprise! Manila is one of them. That was also one of the reasons why I pushed through with my plan to work in Manila, to experience how to live in a crowded, urban jungle, a mega-city! Singapore is one of these mega-cities too! I had plans to be there but I was having these other plans but I digress.
Singapore is far-far away compared to Manila, and I don't mean the distance! I meant the progress! Manila (and the Philippines in general) is this tax burdened place with poor service and inefficient government with corrupt politicians in the mix. Singapore looks flawless in my eyes (I dont know its internal politics) but as someone new, I know that they are progressive and is continuing to do so.
Their transportation is very efficient and clean. One card for all payments. Their MRT is very clean and safe and also very cold. Their buses are clean and stops only at designated bus stops. Taxi drivers are polite and issues receipts.
My Singapore stay is too short to be conclusive that it is perfect, but for me Singapore is everything I dreamt of as a perfect city. Should be back. Soon. Hopefully.
Universal Studios Singapore.
My inner child surfaced! Thanks to the newly weds they treated me to USS. It's quite expensive but I got it for free! Life is wonderful!
There are many rides and attractions but I will never forget the Battlestar Galactica, Human and Cylon roller coaster rides! They were just breath taking! It's a must to ride them. After riding the Cylon coaster I just felt off. My head spins and I felt like fainting - and I was so pale they were alarmed. After sipping hot noodle soup and changing my sweat drenched shirt, my color re-appeared. And all was well.
Waterworld, Jurassic park's rapids ride, Shrek's Castle 4D show and other fun adventures and sights filled my day and my senses.
One of THE BEST Days of my life.
But first let me share about Singapore.
Singapore! I arrived at midnight and while travelling all I can say is "wow" this and "wow" that! That is how much I appreciate its beauty while Im inside the taxi. I was blown away by how clean and modern it is. Not that I dont have an idea, but seeing it right through my own two eyes is just surreal.
I love cities. The urban jungle as they say. I was born and raised in a city so Im no stranger to the city life. Years ago I saw this documentary about what they called Mega-cities. Cities with millions and millions of people in them. Surprise! Manila is one of them. That was also one of the reasons why I pushed through with my plan to work in Manila, to experience how to live in a crowded, urban jungle, a mega-city! Singapore is one of these mega-cities too! I had plans to be there but I was having these other plans but I digress.
Singapore is far-far away compared to Manila, and I don't mean the distance! I meant the progress! Manila (and the Philippines in general) is this tax burdened place with poor service and inefficient government with corrupt politicians in the mix. Singapore looks flawless in my eyes (I dont know its internal politics) but as someone new, I know that they are progressive and is continuing to do so.Their transportation is very efficient and clean. One card for all payments. Their MRT is very clean and safe and also very cold. Their buses are clean and stops only at designated bus stops. Taxi drivers are polite and issues receipts.
My Singapore stay is too short to be conclusive that it is perfect, but for me Singapore is everything I dreamt of as a perfect city. Should be back. Soon. Hopefully.
Universal Studios Singapore.
My inner child surfaced! Thanks to the newly weds they treated me to USS. It's quite expensive but I got it for free! Life is wonderful!
There are many rides and attractions but I will never forget the Battlestar Galactica, Human and Cylon roller coaster rides! They were just breath taking! It's a must to ride them. After riding the Cylon coaster I just felt off. My head spins and I felt like fainting - and I was so pale they were alarmed. After sipping hot noodle soup and changing my sweat drenched shirt, my color re-appeared. And all was well.
Waterworld, Jurassic park's rapids ride, Shrek's Castle 4D show and other fun adventures and sights filled my day and my senses.
One of THE BEST Days of my life.
My Best-friend's Wedding
Another one down! In a good way.
Marriage they say is one of the things people who are in love enter and never get out of (supposedly) until they die. In a world of billions, finding the ONE by yourself is kind a hard if you really think about it. That person you will stick like glue for the rest of your mortal life. The person you will look at every waking day, be at each other's side for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part. Such a big promise to make. (I know divorce, annulment exists but I am looking at the best case scenario).
So I am very happy when I hear my friends are getting married for the right reasons, not because they already have children or is pregnant or got someone pregnant (I am not saying having children before marriage is NOT a good reason to marry). We are now in a certain age (late twenties) where our society expects us to either have children or married or blessedly single and not just singly alone.
It makes me believe that love is still alive. Love is still a choice someone made and not forced by someone else. That love, no matter the past mistakes and the hurts conquers all. That love is truly what the bible say it is.
So I say kudos to my best-friend that she found her THE ONE and say my congratulations to the both of them! May they live happily forever ever after.
Marriage they say is one of the things people who are in love enter and never get out of (supposedly) until they die. In a world of billions, finding the ONE by yourself is kind a hard if you really think about it. That person you will stick like glue for the rest of your mortal life. The person you will look at every waking day, be at each other's side for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part. Such a big promise to make. (I know divorce, annulment exists but I am looking at the best case scenario).
So I am very happy when I hear my friends are getting married for the right reasons, not because they already have children or is pregnant or got someone pregnant (I am not saying having children before marriage is NOT a good reason to marry). We are now in a certain age (late twenties) where our society expects us to either have children or married or blessedly single and not just singly alone.
It makes me believe that love is still alive. Love is still a choice someone made and not forced by someone else. That love, no matter the past mistakes and the hurts conquers all. That love is truly what the bible say it is.
So I say kudos to my best-friend that she found her THE ONE and say my congratulations to the both of them! May they live happily forever ever after.
Friday, August 05, 2011
To You Back When
Would we be still together
If I just gave you everything?
The time, the feelings
That your heart yearns
Could we still be humming love songs
In each other arms right now
If I just gave you my all
My whole affection somehow
The truth is, if you did not felt it
You failed
For I have given my everything
To you back when
The laughter shared is still fresh
Time makes it rusty and old
Even if there's newer laughs
I still keep yours here
The sun we shared in our days
The rain we showered
The wind we tasted
All witness to the truth
So, ask this, did you remember
How it used to be
Did you felt the warmth
The burning passion from me?
Coz if you dont
Then you've failed
Because, I have given
My everyhthing to you back when
If I just gave you everything?
The time, the feelings
That your heart yearns
Could we still be humming love songs
In each other arms right now
If I just gave you my all
My whole affection somehow
The truth is, if you did not felt it
You failed
For I have given my everything
To you back when
The laughter shared is still fresh
Time makes it rusty and old
Even if there's newer laughs
I still keep yours here
The sun we shared in our days
The rain we showered
The wind we tasted
All witness to the truth
So, ask this, did you remember
How it used to be
Did you felt the warmth
The burning passion from me?
Coz if you dont
Then you've failed
Because, I have given
My everyhthing to you back when
Monday, August 01, 2011
A Child Once More
Seeing 3 Idiots inspired me. Even with its song and dance numbers, and sometimes obvious and unrealistic plots, the core story is really great! I teared and laughed, and was very touched emotionally. A movie about friendship, life struggles, your place in this world, romance - comedy and drama rolled into more than 2 hours of epic (mis)adventures. All is well, if you follow your passion and not live in fear.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
I live life full of dreams
When I was little
A child of wonders and no fear
The world then was a simple place
In my mother's arms I'm secure
No monsters can scare me anymore
I own the world, I have my place
In my home, Im loved
What's more to ask for?
Yet time goes by and I grew up
Innocence is lost
My heart is but not pure
Time is a trickster
When we're young we wanted to grow old
But then when we mature
We look back, the way we were
And wished we could have a little more
Now that Im a grown man
I remember that child
Can't help but smile
To see that little boy had grown
Though not perfect
And not as happy as can be
He knows he can reach the stars
If he wants it to be
From time to time
I live in that child's world
For I kept the child within
Deep in my heart, deep in my soul
I'm a child once more
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
I live life full of dreams
When I was little
A child of wonders and no fear
The world then was a simple place
In my mother's arms I'm secure
No monsters can scare me anymore
I own the world, I have my place
In my home, Im loved
What's more to ask for?
Yet time goes by and I grew up
Innocence is lost
My heart is but not pure
Time is a trickster
When we're young we wanted to grow old
But then when we mature
We look back, the way we were
And wished we could have a little more
Now that Im a grown man
I remember that child
Can't help but smile
To see that little boy had grown
Though not perfect
And not as happy as can be
He knows he can reach the stars
If he wants it to be
From time to time
I live in that child's world
For I kept the child within
Deep in my heart, deep in my soul
I'm a child once more
Videoke Afternoon
Amongst the five of us, Mike is the only one whose got a decent voice to showcase, but as they say majority wins!
Mike "roel santiago" the cheetah-balladeer. He also got the "cheetah" moves, thus the moniker. Videoke plus a little bit of macho dancing is somewhat interesting.
Madz is the new Charice. Released the new single "Tiramid" with high critical acclaim from various peers.
Amabelle "the songstress". Songs are free to admit that they are stressed and worn out, this includes but not limited to "the man who cant be moved", "still loving you", etc.
And lastly but certainly not the least...
Vella the "endangered songbird". You cant blame anyone who tries to hunt them to extinction because of such amazing powers to alter notes. Good that Vella says she "doesnt want to sing".
Until then!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Another Reset
It is building momentum
However I dismiss the idea
My gut feel is telling me
A reset is inevitable
The future is re-definable
So long I will say by then
To this place where I play pens
Where my skill in writing
To this blog Im posting
Goodbye is a good way to say hello
Till we meet again
Or never see one another
Our lifetime is but forever
"So long" our lips would say
Our eyes may tear
Crocodile I hope it's not
It hurts for us to part
And yes, people often part
But if they stay in our hearts
Will be forever become a piece
Even after we are laid in peace
However I dismiss the idea
My gut feel is telling me
A reset is inevitable
The future is re-definable
So long I will say by then
To this place where I play pens
Where my skill in writing
To this blog Im posting
Goodbye is a good way to say hello
Till we meet again
Or never see one another
Our lifetime is but forever
"So long" our lips would say
Our eyes may tear
Crocodile I hope it's not
It hurts for us to part
And yes, people often part
But if they stay in our hearts
Will be forever become a piece
Even after we are laid in peace
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I Forgot the Feeling
-- Warning: Don't read if you are uneasy on topics regarding sexuality --
Yes, I recently realized that I can now be a certified re-virginized. Yeah its a made up word for virginity is more of a hymen being ruptured, its the actual thing - the experience - of doing it, hymen rupturing or not (what?!), and for me I don't have one. But more than the sex act, let's talk about feelings.
Yes, I forgot the feeling of being with someone else. Why so? It's been a couple of years (officially 3 since my last official relationship) and with that time frame I actually did not seek for another relationship. I go on with my life, job, family, friends and tours. I can honestly say that it didn't bother me (as much) that I have no one. Then one by one my closest friends began to marry and have children (not necessarily in that particular order). And I realized that I'm at the end of my 20's! What?! a decade has passed me by so quickly (passed me by in the sense of love/relationship and not the other aspects of life - hopefully)!
Then I asked myself, for someone had asked me "Are you prepared to go old alone?" Actually I was dumbfounded by that question but the quick-witted me answered gleefully "Yes, maybe I will be a little sad but I will go into a home for the aged when time comes..." There is a half truth to it. Yes, I may be ok with it, but more than being ok with it in the future (when there is nothing I can do by then) is the present me who suddenly rang an alert bell in my head (or is it in my heart?). Are you really not going to try to find someone who you could "try" to be together with? Try practicing your rusty pumping moves before time will make it hard to get hard (porny but true).
I was quite struck for a while. I tried to remember my "best" relationship and why it did not work out. I tried to remember how it started. I tried to feel the feeling of being in a state of love.
And then I remembered.
The mushy texts and midnight calls. Passionate kisses and touch. The crazy things you do and your plans how to "score". The trips you eagerly await for the both of you to be alone. The feeling of someone wanting you. The feeling of wanting someone so badly - you want them at your side all the time. You want to do things together -eat, church, play, (un)dress. Someone you can share your activity for the day(night), your hopes and your dreams, yourself.
That must have been love right?
Then there were the feelings of jealousy, trust issues, insecurities, too much of something it becomes unhealthy, nagging and the penultimate - indifference.
Then I remembered the reason why I avoided relationships after that great love - is that I was torn to pieces, I lost myself. I honestly did not know myself after that. I realized I isolated myself from my friends, I suddenly have lots of free time, I became a totally different person literally and figuratively. My values and perspective shifted and my heart wounded.
That is why I strayed away from being in a serious relationship. Years passed.
Now, am I ready to take a chance once again? Only time can tell, but I can tell you my hormones are rising.
Yes, I recently realized that I can now be a certified re-virginized. Yeah its a made up word for virginity is more of a hymen being ruptured, its the actual thing - the experience - of doing it, hymen rupturing or not (what?!), and for me I don't have one. But more than the sex act, let's talk about feelings.
Yes, I forgot the feeling of being with someone else. Why so? It's been a couple of years (officially 3 since my last official relationship) and with that time frame I actually did not seek for another relationship. I go on with my life, job, family, friends and tours. I can honestly say that it didn't bother me (as much) that I have no one. Then one by one my closest friends began to marry and have children (not necessarily in that particular order). And I realized that I'm at the end of my 20's! What?! a decade has passed me by so quickly (passed me by in the sense of love/relationship and not the other aspects of life - hopefully)!
Then I asked myself, for someone had asked me "Are you prepared to go old alone?" Actually I was dumbfounded by that question but the quick-witted me answered gleefully "Yes, maybe I will be a little sad but I will go into a home for the aged when time comes..." There is a half truth to it. Yes, I may be ok with it, but more than being ok with it in the future (when there is nothing I can do by then) is the present me who suddenly rang an alert bell in my head (or is it in my heart?). Are you really not going to try to find someone who you could "try" to be together with? Try practicing your rusty pumping moves before time will make it hard to get hard (porny but true).
I was quite struck for a while. I tried to remember my "best" relationship and why it did not work out. I tried to remember how it started. I tried to feel the feeling of being in a state of love.
And then I remembered.
The mushy texts and midnight calls. Passionate kisses and touch. The crazy things you do and your plans how to "score". The trips you eagerly await for the both of you to be alone. The feeling of someone wanting you. The feeling of wanting someone so badly - you want them at your side all the time. You want to do things together -eat, church, play, (un)dress. Someone you can share your activity for the day(night), your hopes and your dreams, yourself.
That must have been love right?
Then there were the feelings of jealousy, trust issues, insecurities, too much of something it becomes unhealthy, nagging and the penultimate - indifference.
Then I remembered the reason why I avoided relationships after that great love - is that I was torn to pieces, I lost myself. I honestly did not know myself after that. I realized I isolated myself from my friends, I suddenly have lots of free time, I became a totally different person literally and figuratively. My values and perspective shifted and my heart wounded.
That is why I strayed away from being in a serious relationship. Years passed.
Now, am I ready to take a chance once again? Only time can tell, but I can tell you my hormones are rising.
If My Life Is A Play
If my life is a play
What would it be?
Will it be a drama
Full of crying
Full of tragedies
Full of misery
A sea of tears?
Will it be an action
Full of fighting
Full of violence
Full of anger
A broken and bruised body?
Will it be a comedy
Full of laughter
Full of joy
Full of happiness
Smile that is ear to ear?
Maybe a little of those and some
I imagine my life
If it will be played
Is a sitcom
From innocence
To unexpected experiences
From a seed, becoming a tree
From a bulb to a blossom
A sitcom, where most of the time
Many persons come in
And leave
Each bringing something
To move my story forward
Some I love to remember and flash back
Some I loathe and skip forward
A sitcom, where you can laugh
At the same time cry
Be in a state of love
And in a state without
In a group
Alone
But each new episode is a story
However mundane and common
Must be shared and told
Doesn't really matter if the characters are common
Doesn't really matter if the stories are unoriginal
Even if there are plot holes
And character development is slow
Or the ending is predictable
Or the story "jumped the shark"
It still is my story I like to be told
In a series
As a sitcom
More or less 30 mins long
What would it be?
Will it be a drama
Full of crying
Full of tragedies
Full of misery
A sea of tears?
Will it be an action
Full of fighting
Full of violence
Full of anger
A broken and bruised body?
Will it be a comedy
Full of laughter
Full of joy
Full of happiness
Smile that is ear to ear?
Maybe a little of those and some
I imagine my life
If it will be played
Is a sitcom
From innocence
To unexpected experiences
From a seed, becoming a tree
From a bulb to a blossom
A sitcom, where most of the time
Many persons come in
And leave
Each bringing something
To move my story forward
Some I love to remember and flash back
Some I loathe and skip forward
A sitcom, where you can laugh
At the same time cry
Be in a state of love
And in a state without
In a group
Alone
But each new episode is a story
However mundane and common
Must be shared and told
Doesn't really matter if the characters are common
Doesn't really matter if the stories are unoriginal
Even if there are plot holes
And character development is slow
Or the ending is predictable
Or the story "jumped the shark"
It still is my story I like to be told
In a series
As a sitcom
More or less 30 mins long
Monday, July 25, 2011
How Can I Start?
I started to move
Closer to where you are
To know me better
To know you as well
I send signals,
To your direction
Don't refract it to someone else
Theyre intended for you alone
Yes, I move like a turtle
Slow
But Im not taking chances
Now
Thank you for responding
Even if you are just being friendly
And all this I just made up in my head
For its true, I have feelings for you
Closer to where you are
To know me better
To know you as well
I send signals,
To your direction
Don't refract it to someone else
Theyre intended for you alone
Yes, I move like a turtle
Slow
But Im not taking chances
Now
Thank you for responding
Even if you are just being friendly
And all this I just made up in my head
For its true, I have feelings for you
Model Employee Characteristics (translated to Bisaya)
hardworking - gahi patrabahu-on
time conscious - oras ray bantayan
customer service oriented - laing taw ang pirme bantayan
efficient - dali makakitag rason
effective - maayo mulusot
team player - ipasa sa uban ang trabaho
highly inquisitive - chismuso/chismusa
sense of responsibility - angkunon ang nindot nga trabaho sa uban
creative - maayo muhimo ug storya
resourceful - cgeg facebook ug internet
excellent skills in communication - tabi-an/saba-an
willing to work on shifts - sip2x
willing to work on overtime (with pay) - pankwartahay
willing to work on offertime (overtime without pay) - BUANG!
flexible - pirme lng galikay sa trabahu
records and reports progress - reklamador!
well-behaved/mannered - hingatug
time conscious - oras ray bantayan
customer service oriented - laing taw ang pirme bantayan
efficient - dali makakitag rason
effective - maayo mulusot
team player - ipasa sa uban ang trabaho
highly inquisitive - chismuso/chismusa
sense of responsibility - angkunon ang nindot nga trabaho sa uban
creative - maayo muhimo ug storya
resourceful - cgeg facebook ug internet
excellent skills in communication - tabi-an/saba-an
willing to work on shifts - sip2x
willing to work on overtime (with pay) - pankwartahay
willing to work on offertime (overtime without pay) - BUANG!
flexible - pirme lng galikay sa trabahu
records and reports progress - reklamador!
well-behaved/mannered - hingatug
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow
This song is soulfully rendered.
| Amy Winehouse - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow .mp3 | ||
 | ||
 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
Will you love me tomorrow?
Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Tonight with words unspoken
And you say that I'm the only one, the only one, yeah
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning star?
I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, cause I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Yeah
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
Will you love me tomorrow?
Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Tonight with words unspoken
And you say that I'm the only one, the only one, yeah
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning star?
I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, cause I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Yeah
Treasure Hunting
Not the Yamashita
But of the source of everlasting
Not of El Dorado
But of the bread of life
Sunday's gospel reminds me
Of how we should seek his kingdom
Admission is free
But the choice is ours to decide
Am I ready to follow Christ?
Forgive - the true Christian way?
Love- that's equivalent as Jesus dying on that cross?
The short answer is silence.
With all the promise of happiness
Why do we stay in misery?
You may get wings, and sing praises to the Lord
But why do we choose to stay in this polluted unheavenly place?
The answer is a deafening silence, much more deafening than the sound of silence itself.
Should I seek inside my heart
As they say the heart is where God's temple is
But all I found is emptiness
Maybe the Lord has left me
But maybe its me that choose
Not to look and find Him
Am I forever not going to find
That infinite joy
That unending hymn
Happiness not based on earthly desires?
Truth that hurts noone
Boundless, eternal - will it ever be realized?
In God's time, He will show me, in His time.
Because I still believe.
But of the source of everlasting
Not of El Dorado
But of the bread of life
Sunday's gospel reminds me
Of how we should seek his kingdom
Admission is free
But the choice is ours to decide
Am I ready to follow Christ?
Forgive - the true Christian way?
Love- that's equivalent as Jesus dying on that cross?
The short answer is silence.
With all the promise of happiness
Why do we stay in misery?
You may get wings, and sing praises to the Lord
But why do we choose to stay in this polluted unheavenly place?
The answer is a deafening silence, much more deafening than the sound of silence itself.
Should I seek inside my heart
As they say the heart is where God's temple is
But all I found is emptiness
Maybe the Lord has left me
But maybe its me that choose
Not to look and find Him
Am I forever not going to find
That infinite joy
That unending hymn
Happiness not based on earthly desires?
Truth that hurts noone
Boundless, eternal - will it ever be realized?
In God's time, He will show me, in His time.
Because I still believe.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Disconcerted
Recently, I noticed that I behave rather differently. Erratic is not an apt description, disturbed maybe. But why? I don't even know myself a 100%. Maybe it's a combination of what or where I am now. It is on times like this that I like to self reflect on what I am doing with my life.
Family.
Same as always, or as lately. My sister's marriage did not last, and I dont know the complete details. It went bad I guess. I don't know what she will do or her plans are, but I wanted her to be responsible, take a job and start her life over again (it's not like it has ended), she just need a fresh look at things.
My other sister's "live-in relationship" is a sad story to watch. If I have powers like the XMEN, (give me Wolverine's adamantium claws) and I will gladly rip every single tissue of this useless bastard living in our house. Who in their right mind, if you have a sick child (baby) would you still go to a concert and be merry all night? Shit!
The problem with my family is that I can't talk to them without going WW3. I have my opinions, and sometimes I just let it out and it may seem to them that I am high and mighty and doesnt care (I really care, but in a hierarchy that they don't know). Now, even if I really wanted to go ballistic on things at home and cause a stir, I decide to just stay plump.
Work.
I can describe work as one word for the past 2 weeks or so. IDLE. Slowly it spells I-Dull. It feels demeaning when people around you are doing something, learning, creating and you are there, just there.
Friends.
One of my considered bestfriends is getting married this few weeks. She will be leaping to the "real" life. I'm happy for her, she deserves to be happy and I know she is smart enough to know where she is going and with whom.
Maybe I am on an upcoming crossroad of my life. Bring it on!
Family.
Same as always, or as lately. My sister's marriage did not last, and I dont know the complete details. It went bad I guess. I don't know what she will do or her plans are, but I wanted her to be responsible, take a job and start her life over again (it's not like it has ended), she just need a fresh look at things.
My other sister's "live-in relationship" is a sad story to watch. If I have powers like the XMEN, (give me Wolverine's adamantium claws) and I will gladly rip every single tissue of this useless bastard living in our house. Who in their right mind, if you have a sick child (baby) would you still go to a concert and be merry all night? Shit!
The problem with my family is that I can't talk to them without going WW3. I have my opinions, and sometimes I just let it out and it may seem to them that I am high and mighty and doesnt care (I really care, but in a hierarchy that they don't know). Now, even if I really wanted to go ballistic on things at home and cause a stir, I decide to just stay plump.
Work.
I can describe work as one word for the past 2 weeks or so. IDLE. Slowly it spells I-Dull. It feels demeaning when people around you are doing something, learning, creating and you are there, just there.
Friends.
One of my considered bestfriends is getting married this few weeks. She will be leaping to the "real" life. I'm happy for her, she deserves to be happy and I know she is smart enough to know where she is going and with whom.
Maybe I am on an upcoming crossroad of my life. Bring it on!
A Simple Case of "Bad" Genes
It's true, sometimes nature is not fair. As the song goes, some "people" (I know the original lyrics is a "guy" but I'm trying to be gender sensitive) have all the luck. If my memory serves me right, we have 23 chromosome pairs half of which we get from mom and the other half from dad. This means that we have a 50% chance of getting a trait from each of our parents.
My dad has a pretty nose for an asian. He is also big boned, tall, dark and in my honest opinion, considerably handsome as I can see from his younger years' photos. My mother on the other hand is tall, light in complexion, and is a pretty lady in her prime years.
But wait! I am not implying that Im a good looking son of a b*tch, because both my parents are relatively attractive. If we look closely, our parents too have 23 pairs of those chromosomes and only some of them are "expressed". So it might be that what we have from mom and dad are not the "expressed" traits, and we need a little digging the family tree to know where we get these traits.
And here it is the "where did I get these traits" list (Im still on the process of self discovery and this list is not at all complete and accurate).
Mom side:
The lean gene. As I can see my relatives from both sides, I can say that my mother side has the most "lean" bodies. I have cousins who are like me in that they dont get fat easily. Though through time (they are now on their late 20's/early 30s) they are starting to get those pounds, and I can only surmise that it will hit me too.
Intelligence. Ok, hold on to your seats! I'm not saying that I'm Einsten-like. Most literature I read says that intelligence comes from your maternal side. I observed and compared scholastic records of my relatives from both sides and yes I confirmed that my mother-side had all great education-success stories and some of them are now (im)migrats to other countries. Though my mother is only a highschool graduate and my father a college dropout - I would still choose them over than any parent of the world.
Receding hairline (and soon baldness). My mother is not bald (or balding), and I can remember that my grandfather was not also bald. My father is bald(ing), but why do I put this here? Aside from what I read that it is from your maternal side that this gene is passed, I confirmed from a recent family reunion that my mother side's far cousins/relatives have bald patches. That's the inconvenient truth for me and it is easier I think to just accept nature's design (good thing caps/bonnet are available whenever confidence is not a hundred percent).
Dad side:
Chinless/Nose/Face Contour. Yeah, my face is not balanced. I dont have a chin (or not prominent enough). My father has a chin, my grandfather too. My nose and face structure is not also similar to either my dad or mom. Nature decided to give me most of my lola's features than my dad's. Talk about pamana.
Common:
Heart disease, hypertension and diabetes. Both sides of the family have these and it is a strong motivation for me to try to be healthy (through avoiding unhealthy foods and alcohol) because I don't want to be hospitalized (who does?).
Mystery:
Gray Hair. None of my recent relatives both from my mother and father side expressed this trait.
My dad has a pretty nose for an asian. He is also big boned, tall, dark and in my honest opinion, considerably handsome as I can see from his younger years' photos. My mother on the other hand is tall, light in complexion, and is a pretty lady in her prime years.
But wait! I am not implying that Im a good looking son of a b*tch, because both my parents are relatively attractive. If we look closely, our parents too have 23 pairs of those chromosomes and only some of them are "expressed". So it might be that what we have from mom and dad are not the "expressed" traits, and we need a little digging the family tree to know where we get these traits.
And here it is the "where did I get these traits" list (Im still on the process of self discovery and this list is not at all complete and accurate).
Mom side:
The lean gene. As I can see my relatives from both sides, I can say that my mother side has the most "lean" bodies. I have cousins who are like me in that they dont get fat easily. Though through time (they are now on their late 20's/early 30s) they are starting to get those pounds, and I can only surmise that it will hit me too.
Intelligence. Ok, hold on to your seats! I'm not saying that I'm Einsten-like. Most literature I read says that intelligence comes from your maternal side. I observed and compared scholastic records of my relatives from both sides and yes I confirmed that my mother-side had all great education-success stories and some of them are now (im)migrats to other countries. Though my mother is only a highschool graduate and my father a college dropout - I would still choose them over than any parent of the world.
Receding hairline (and soon baldness). My mother is not bald (or balding), and I can remember that my grandfather was not also bald. My father is bald(ing), but why do I put this here? Aside from what I read that it is from your maternal side that this gene is passed, I confirmed from a recent family reunion that my mother side's far cousins/relatives have bald patches. That's the inconvenient truth for me and it is easier I think to just accept nature's design (good thing caps/bonnet are available whenever confidence is not a hundred percent).
Dad side:
Chinless/Nose/Face Contour. Yeah, my face is not balanced. I dont have a chin (or not prominent enough). My father has a chin, my grandfather too. My nose and face structure is not also similar to either my dad or mom. Nature decided to give me most of my lola's features than my dad's. Talk about pamana.
Common:
Heart disease, hypertension and diabetes. Both sides of the family have these and it is a strong motivation for me to try to be healthy (through avoiding unhealthy foods and alcohol) because I don't want to be hospitalized (who does?).
Mystery:
Gray Hair. None of my recent relatives both from my mother and father side expressed this trait.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A Night of "No Discrimination"
Yes, you read that right. "No Discrimination". The last time I checked, the meaning of "no discrimination" is that people are treated equally. That simple. No frills. An example quote to further illustrate the concept is "No man (or woman) is above the law". The law is the law, that's why lady justice is blindfolded because justice does not discriminate against gender, age, nationality, religion, etc...
And I just learned that company L (a famous printer company in the vicinity of Ayala Business Park) segregates the entrance between their company-hired employees, sub-contractual employees and OJTs. It is OK if the treatment to those entrances are the same but from what was described to me, non-company hired employees are frisked to death (ok not to death really), while those company-hired employees can easily just enter without any hassle. For me that is already DISCRIMINATION.
Disclaimer: I have not directly experience or observed the said behavior since I have not worked there or visited their facility. This has only been said to me through a late night chat with someone who used to work there. I don't intend to put malice on the said company, this is just my immediate and personal reaction when I learned about this.
And I just learned that company L (a famous printer company in the vicinity of Ayala Business Park) segregates the entrance between their company-hired employees, sub-contractual employees and OJTs. It is OK if the treatment to those entrances are the same but from what was described to me, non-company hired employees are frisked to death (ok not to death really), while those company-hired employees can easily just enter without any hassle. For me that is already DISCRIMINATION.
Disclaimer: I have not directly experience or observed the said behavior since I have not worked there or visited their facility. This has only been said to me through a late night chat with someone who used to work there. I don't intend to put malice on the said company, this is just my immediate and personal reaction when I learned about this.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Of Roads, Rocks, Thorns and Good Soil
The Parable of the Seeds is the gospel this Sunday. Thanks to Super Book/Flying House TV series, I still can remember the episode of this parable. Reflecting on the gospel, I ask what kind of soil am I in the parable?
Am I the road? In all humility, I think I'm not. I don't totally disregard the words of God. The seeds thrown on the roads were eaten by animals.
Am I the rocky soil? Jesus explained that the rocky soil are those people who accepted the word with much gusto but when trials and persecution came, withered. I'm guilty on this, I know the word of God, but sometimes when I have problems or insecurities, I asked God, why am I not made perfect like someone? Why do I have these problems?
Those seeds thrown on thorny soil choked at the thorns and the weeds after sometime. It is comparable to those who heard the word but then are enslaved by their earthly riches and thus did not bear fruit. I am not pointing fingers or accusing someone or some organizations, but in my opinion this may include those corporations/individuals who runs "charitable" institutions to escape tax duties, or any activity that seems good but has their hidden agenda.
And lastly, the seeds thrown in good soil, flourished and bears fruits. I need not explain what type of people the Lord means but these are the people we need to emulate. A movie about paying it forward is in a way shows how we can be a good soil that bears fruit and multiply.
Am I the road? In all humility, I think I'm not. I don't totally disregard the words of God. The seeds thrown on the roads were eaten by animals.
Am I the rocky soil? Jesus explained that the rocky soil are those people who accepted the word with much gusto but when trials and persecution came, withered. I'm guilty on this, I know the word of God, but sometimes when I have problems or insecurities, I asked God, why am I not made perfect like someone? Why do I have these problems?
Those seeds thrown on thorny soil choked at the thorns and the weeds after sometime. It is comparable to those who heard the word but then are enslaved by their earthly riches and thus did not bear fruit. I am not pointing fingers or accusing someone or some organizations, but in my opinion this may include those corporations/individuals who runs "charitable" institutions to escape tax duties, or any activity that seems good but has their hidden agenda.
And lastly, the seeds thrown in good soil, flourished and bears fruits. I need not explain what type of people the Lord means but these are the people we need to emulate. A movie about paying it forward is in a way shows how we can be a good soil that bears fruit and multiply.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Caught In The Rain
Heavy downpour! As minutes passes by, the road steadily becomes akin to a stream more suited for aquatic vehicles than terrestial ones.
I just finished jogging and when I went out of the tracks, this rain just poured. Having no umbrella or raincoat I am forced to take refuge on this building where there's this delicious aroma of pizza stems. Talk about torture.
It makes me hungry, but I can't afford to buy one since I didn't bring cash and I should be back home because there is free food there. Today is when the twins celebrate their birthdays instead of the 28th. Food is being served there and is waiting for me. Delicious home cooked yummy entrees.
I think I can run from where I stand and sprint to the jeepney bay. I think I should do that now. 1,2,3...run!
I just finished jogging and when I went out of the tracks, this rain just poured. Having no umbrella or raincoat I am forced to take refuge on this building where there's this delicious aroma of pizza stems. Talk about torture.
It makes me hungry, but I can't afford to buy one since I didn't bring cash and I should be back home because there is free food there. Today is when the twins celebrate their birthdays instead of the 28th. Food is being served there and is waiting for me. Delicious home cooked yummy entrees.
I think I can run from where I stand and sprint to the jeepney bay. I think I should do that now. 1,2,3...run!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
The Green Transformers
Niadto kog Ayala gahapon to watch Transformers. Akong gitan-aw ang mga showing time sa electronic nila nga board. cinema one 7:30, cinema 2 7:05, Cinema 3: 7:45, Cinema 4 8:00. Na excite ko kay alas 7 naman d ay. So with confidence I said sa cashier "cinema 2, 1 down lng ms.".
Alas 7 naman so wala nako time to buy food nga dugay maluto, basta Ayala cinema ganahan ko mokaon ug steamed rice and siomai sa cinehan kay pwede ra. So I opted to buy french fries nga Giga-sized sa Potato factory (I think mao na name sa stall).
Ug nisulod nkos cinehan. Nag wonder ko, wala lagi taw? Naa ray mga at most 10 people sa ubos, nya mga at most 20 sa taas. Transformers must be a flop to Cebuanos. Usually basta Wednesday, daghan jud kaayo na taw magpunsisok for that first day screening, nag expect ko mga students, but mingaw man.
And then the cinema dimmed the lights, started its trailers. Mao ni di jud ko nahan ma late sa cinehan kay ganahan ko muwatch sa mga trailers :D
Ug sa dihang nagsugod na ang movie. WB man ang logo ni appear. Diba Paramount man na ang Transformers? Then DC comics. Waaahhhh, Green Lantern man di ay ni akong nasudlan! Grrr...
Green Lantern: 6/10. Boring ang pacing sa story oi. Though nindot ug effects but wala may noteworthy sa movie.
Critics2x nlang ko kay tan-gee-ehy man kaayo gud!
Alas 7 naman so wala nako time to buy food nga dugay maluto, basta Ayala cinema ganahan ko mokaon ug steamed rice and siomai sa cinehan kay pwede ra. So I opted to buy french fries nga Giga-sized sa Potato factory (I think mao na name sa stall).
Ug nisulod nkos cinehan. Nag wonder ko, wala lagi taw? Naa ray mga at most 10 people sa ubos, nya mga at most 20 sa taas. Transformers must be a flop to Cebuanos. Usually basta Wednesday, daghan jud kaayo na taw magpunsisok for that first day screening, nag expect ko mga students, but mingaw man.
And then the cinema dimmed the lights, started its trailers. Mao ni di jud ko nahan ma late sa cinehan kay ganahan ko muwatch sa mga trailers :D
Ug sa dihang nagsugod na ang movie. WB man ang logo ni appear. Diba Paramount man na ang Transformers? Then DC comics. Waaahhhh, Green Lantern man di ay ni akong nasudlan! Grrr...
Green Lantern: 6/10. Boring ang pacing sa story oi. Though nindot ug effects but wala may noteworthy sa movie.
Critics2x nlang ko kay tan-gee-ehy man kaayo gud!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Korina Episode: Love
Valentines day is not due anytime soon, but the topic on Korina Sanchez's show is all about love. People of seemingly different stature, culture and even height fell in love. But this is not a review of the show, this is what I think about love.
I've seen love. I've felt love. I know love. It's just not about finding a partner, but the general feeling of being safe, being cared unconditionally by someone - obviously by our parents, family relatives, friends and that special The One (not Neo of the Matrix).
It comes automatic that our family loves us. Even with our ugliest characteristics they have come to learn to accept us for who we truly are - there is nothing to hide.
Along the course of our life's journey we meet other people and we make bonds with them. Friendships help us to widen our horizon and be in a social circle beyond of what our immediate family can provide.
But once in a while, we meet that special someone. I've met my special someone twice (maybe thrice???). The person that makes you want to live forever with. The person whose hands you want to forever hold. The person whose face you want to forever gaze upon. But forever is but a word - so far.
Instead I end up counting persons instead of counting the years with a person. Worse, currently Im counting the years without any person at all! But the worst maybe is to count the years with someone whose with someone else.
Do I still believe in love? I still do.
The last statement of the show said: "there is a person that is just made right for you". How I wish I can google that someone or tag her in fb, or plainly give her the map in my direction so that the years of waiting will turn into years of counting.
I've seen love. I've felt love. I know love. It's just not about finding a partner, but the general feeling of being safe, being cared unconditionally by someone - obviously by our parents, family relatives, friends and that special The One (not Neo of the Matrix).
It comes automatic that our family loves us. Even with our ugliest characteristics they have come to learn to accept us for who we truly are - there is nothing to hide.
Along the course of our life's journey we meet other people and we make bonds with them. Friendships help us to widen our horizon and be in a social circle beyond of what our immediate family can provide.
But once in a while, we meet that special someone. I've met my special someone twice (maybe thrice???). The person that makes you want to live forever with. The person whose hands you want to forever hold. The person whose face you want to forever gaze upon. But forever is but a word - so far.
Instead I end up counting persons instead of counting the years with a person. Worse, currently Im counting the years without any person at all! But the worst maybe is to count the years with someone whose with someone else.
Do I still believe in love? I still do.
The last statement of the show said: "there is a person that is just made right for you". How I wish I can google that someone or tag her in fb, or plainly give her the map in my direction so that the years of waiting will turn into years of counting.
Absolution
Naa man d ay koy pride.
I always thought that I can keep my cool no matter what, save some insults that will hurt my family, if its just directed to me I'd say I will just let it pass and be not bothered by it. I've had my share of bullies, name-calling, critics, ugly labels, mental-illness, etc. and its safe to say that I came out of it whole, albeit a little scarred but still functional.
But I was wrong. Not in all cases.
I have thought about it - no matter how I reject the idea, my mind cant be stopped. Many nights, I have been bothered. I've replayed it in my mind. Is it my fault?
And I got the same recurring answer - NO. It is not! I have not faulted anyone. I have done many errors in my past, and one thing Im sure is that when I know I did something wrong, I feel guilty. I dont find myself guilty now, I just find the situation uncomfortable.
A case of self-righteousness? Maybe. I will not rule it out just yet. But I have this gut-feel that its not.
Then why this heavy feeling? Because for once again I did not believe in myself. I've asked forgiveness for something I am not at fault. And what I did hurt me.
So now, after going to church and really once again reflecting on what has transpired, I absolve myself and move on, learn the lessons from this and hope that I will meet people that will not try to impair me, but help build me as a better person.
I always thought that I can keep my cool no matter what, save some insults that will hurt my family, if its just directed to me I'd say I will just let it pass and be not bothered by it. I've had my share of bullies, name-calling, critics, ugly labels, mental-illness, etc. and its safe to say that I came out of it whole, albeit a little scarred but still functional.
But I was wrong. Not in all cases.
I have thought about it - no matter how I reject the idea, my mind cant be stopped. Many nights, I have been bothered. I've replayed it in my mind. Is it my fault?
And I got the same recurring answer - NO. It is not! I have not faulted anyone. I have done many errors in my past, and one thing Im sure is that when I know I did something wrong, I feel guilty. I dont find myself guilty now, I just find the situation uncomfortable.
A case of self-righteousness? Maybe. I will not rule it out just yet. But I have this gut-feel that its not.
Then why this heavy feeling? Because for once again I did not believe in myself. I've asked forgiveness for something I am not at fault. And what I did hurt me.
So now, after going to church and really once again reflecting on what has transpired, I absolve myself and move on, learn the lessons from this and hope that I will meet people that will not try to impair me, but help build me as a better person.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Indeed
As things go and go on
And life moves on
We carry forward memories
Written not in words
Not by letters of any sorts
But of wants, desires and soul
Things not money can bring
Family, friends and health
All I need indeed
And life moves on
We carry forward memories
Written not in words
Not by letters of any sorts
But of wants, desires and soul
Things not money can bring
Family, friends and health
All I need indeed
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Ultrasound
There's got to be a first time, and this is my first. Getting an ultrasound is synonymous with being pregnant, and obviously I am not! Im getting an ultrasound because of this stupid pain I feel below my left abdomen is not going away. It has been 5 days.
I feel it pulsating, sometimes I dont feel it at all when Im distracted doing something. But there are times when it really gets my attention because of a sudden sharp like pointy object is poking inside me.
Im currently waiting for my turn to have my insides scanned. In this room, there is I think a pregnant woman, an old man in a wheelchair. It has been I think more than 30 mins had pass since entering this room. To add, the attendant told me not to urinate from now on until I have my ultrasound. This room is cold, and Im praying my bladder will cooperate.
-- after my ultrasound --
Thank you Lord! I am relieved now. The pain is still here but Im thankful that its not kidney related, that scares me to hell!
I feel it pulsating, sometimes I dont feel it at all when Im distracted doing something. But there are times when it really gets my attention because of a sudden sharp like pointy object is poking inside me.
Im currently waiting for my turn to have my insides scanned. In this room, there is I think a pregnant woman, an old man in a wheelchair. It has been I think more than 30 mins had pass since entering this room. To add, the attendant told me not to urinate from now on until I have my ultrasound. This room is cold, and Im praying my bladder will cooperate.
-- after my ultrasound --
Thank you Lord! I am relieved now. The pain is still here but Im thankful that its not kidney related, that scares me to hell!
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