I feel it reeking in to me like water to a sponge. I am not anti-social or hate crowds, I like to be with people- sharing stories, travelling and just be with people around. But sometimes mood comes in and I want to be left alone. In my mind I would wander to places where nobody can find me, or go to some place with only me.
It is weird, even I myself feels weird about it. I do not know the exact reason why or when it starts, I just feel it. Then I stop responding to conversation or just totally fake it. It is hard, make it impossible to fake genuine interactions. When you are interested, really interested time seems to pass by and you can't get enough from your talks. It is tiring to listen when Im on this state, I just nod, yes, no, maybe, not sure - questions, statements that comes my way. No eye contact, or hastily removing myself from the conversation.
I dream of being in a boat or high up in a mountain with lots of trees (I think they are called forests). Breathe the fresh air. Swim in a clear blue sea (ok not really swim, more like snorkel). I just want to be out under the sun and be with nature.
Then there is the reality that I have to work, and be in the city. That dream will come one day, I promise.
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