Another Drama

I'm shameless putting all my family drama on the web for anyone to read. Though I'm pretty sure its just a handful of people who read my blog. But anyways here goes another family drama served hot!

My other siblings started it (at least its not me who started it for starters). A comment on how the dad of my nephew and niece is always MIA. One time he (let's put off names) arrived earlier than usual at around 7pm only to go out again. He did not even bothered to carry his children. I really wonder how many times does he gets his hands dirty with child work (bathing, take out the poo of his young children). 

Now I heard it clearly, my mother's stand on all of this. She doesn't want us to interfere or comment because it will just bring trouble to our family. There goes the past again. Her sister before got pregnant at 15 and she doesn't gave a word about it. My mother has no job when she has 2 children and her siblings did not bother to say something to her badly. 

So the villains in this story are: in the past it was my father's family. My father's parents and siblings because as my mother would recall it, treated her (us) badly. And now it is us (her son and daughters) for criticizing our youngest sister's husband and their lackluster parenthood. Pretty nice conclusion I might say.

What is hard for old people is that they think that all those years made them wiser and right. If you present your case in the best possible manner, you are disrespectful. My most hated is when they present these past events in pure gold, it is like hearing a life story of a saint. I don't say I don't have my blind spots and inexperience and bias - I accept that who doesn't have those? But all I want is not to be treated as an evil person planning to exterminate my sister's family.

What would I gain from that? Would I be happier, would it make me rich? Will it send me to heaven?

No.

I don't even know what I wanted out of all this ruckus. I mean all I ever wanted to see is that my sister will grow! I mean growup, be more hands-on with her children, try her hardest to be the best mother and not just laze around because she is tired of all the work and all the problem of being a parent - no one on this world FORCED you! To my brother in law, you are old enough to know what you should do! You brought two lives on this planet, do your share of guiding them to be NOT like you - that's the least you can do for them.

Till Passwords Keeps Us Apart

One sure way to be in a compromising situation is when you give your password(s) (ym, facebook, emails, etc.) to your "loved" ones. Yes, that simple password can turn nights into sleepless nights. Yet, there is a very simple solution to that problem, NEVER GIVE YOUR PASSWORDS in the first place, get it?

Case 1: The Cheating Boyfriend
Boy loves girl, girl so much in love with boy. Bliss, bliss, bliss (one bliss is roughly equivalent to 1 month). After about, you guess it, 3 months of bliss comes blood, virtual blood I assumed. Girl finds out that boy is playing hockey or whatever involving balls with another girl!

This is the 21st century, instead of fist fights and shouts, we get? Shoutouts, status updates, tweets and the ever famous video and photo scandal postings! Wooh, that's a lot of megabytes!

As they say, the players changes but the game is still the same (did I get it right?). Is it an act of fidelity and love when you give your social network password? Not in my book.

Case 2. Family Theft
You trust and love your family. When the world turns its back on you, who did not turn with the world? It is your family. Except for that simple green buck (it is not green in some countries), it's money! We have heard about that money is an evil thing, but there is much more evil than money alone. Money + the need for money.

You don't want to just open your web bank account to find out that, oopss a purchase was made, or a withdrawal has shrunken your bank account balance to the level of Atlantis.

Another lesson, don't give your credit card, atm card account PINs. If you really are generous, then give them a separate one where if they spend too much it wont hurt your ass. Sorry for the @$$ word mom.


Case 3: The Friendly Loan
We have been borrowed money from a friend or a family relative. It maybe that their child is sick, or they really need financial assistance. It is ok to loan money, you are a good friend anyways. But don't ever get to their nerves when they haven't completely paid you off yet or risk your receivables converted to molecules.

Albeit all these scenarios, we should love each other as we are told by our creator. But keep away from my password!

Aloofness Is Kicking In

I feel it reeking in to me like water to a sponge. I am not anti-social or hate crowds, I like to be with people-  sharing stories, travelling and just be with people around. But sometimes mood comes in and I want to be left alone. In my mind I would wander to places where nobody can find me, or go to some place with only me.

It is weird, even I myself feels weird about it. I do not know the exact reason why or when it starts, I just feel it. Then I stop responding to conversation or just totally fake it. It is hard, make it impossible to fake genuine interactions. When you are interested, really interested time seems to pass by and you can't get enough from your talks. It is tiring to listen when Im on this state, I just nod, yes, no, maybe, not sure - questions, statements that comes my way. No eye contact, or hastily removing myself from the conversation.

I dream of being in a boat or high up in a mountain with lots of trees (I think they are called forests). Breathe the fresh air. Swim in a clear blue sea (ok not really swim, more like snorkel). I just want to be out under the sun and be with nature.

Then there is the reality that I have to work, and be in the city. That dream will come one day, I promise.

I Want to Singa!

Yes! Im shouting it now! I want to go to Singapore and work there.
If things are only that easy..

I have lots of friends who are already there.
There is Juvy and her husband Jan who promised they can let me stay for a while in their apartment while Im still looking for work. Ate Belle and Joanna, one of my closest friends are also there and offering the same. Kenneth and his wife Jessica whom I met while working in Manila is inviting me the same.

If all goes well I have no problem with where I'll stay.

Now to the core problem. Will I be accepted at a job? And for how long will I be idle?

This scares me to the bone! Yes, you heard me, I'm scared to apply. It's never been easy applying for a job. For starters they ask you this nasty technical questions nobody really cares to do in the actual job, but you have to know it for the job interview.

Then there's the question of skills. How skilled am I now? I've been working as a programmer for almost 8 years now. You might surmised that I'm that skilled worker. Actually. Im not. I've been a jack of all trades, master of none type.

If I'll be totally honest in my interviews I would say the following:

I've been working as a programmer for 8 years now. I've coded web applications based on php, javascript with database (mysql). I was also a Java Certified programmer (if that still matters today), but I've got only 2 years of solid Java industry programming. Currently my project is in C++ but it's only maintenance and I only got to modify little code (no creation of classes much more design).

And can you not ask me those what is transient, volatile stuffs? I mean who use those in real life?

That's why Im not that confident because I'm not good enough. Even for me. Though some of my friends think that Im good to go.

But even though I really wanted to go to Singa ASAP, I will have to wait. I have to prepare myself because this is a big leap. Literally and figuratively.

Reminder: Don't Get Too Old

As I was hearing my father, again for the nth time, how my grandfather would reprimand them (my parents) if they hear us (their grandchildren) cry (long ago when we were toddlers) - which would bring conflict between them (wooh, what a long sentence), I was reminded to not grow old too much.

Why? It was as if he is not listening to himself. He is telling us the story which is happening right now. You see, we have a 1yr old baby which screams and shouts every time she doesn't get what she wanted. It's not like we haven't had a baby before (Lance which is 4 yrs old now is quite tamed already because we can now talk and he now understands) - which is why I really don't get it when he tells us to not let the baby cry, as if we wanted our baby girl to cry - no scream!

And so my father would relate to us how our grandfather would scold them which results in conflicts between them because of us when we were young. These conflict would in my father's words "makes me nervous all the time". He doesn't want conflict, who does? But running away from conflict is a sure way of prolonging disagreement. My grandfather died a long time ago, but my father is still carrying this "nervousness", it's like a shadow that is constantly haunting him.

So that is why I have these little checklist for me not to fall on the same trap.

1. NEVER stay near your parents (or in laws for that matter) when you get married. This is not to say I will cut them from my life, what I mean is my wife and my family should not stay with either parents. A lot of conflicts will arise when you live with your parents. They think they know better than you and they will interfere with your decisions on and specially raising your children. Trust me I know the feeling.

2. Don't "golden coat" the past. I mean stop the rhetoric "when I was your age, I did this...it was hard but I succeeded..." Just get to the point. Your mistake would be different with your future children's mistake. It might look the same but the circumstances surrounding the events would be entirely different, unless they time traveled to your era.

3. Never let them feel unloved. Even at your busiest days, hug them and tell them you love them. Never fail. You may forget it one day and would realize they've gotten too old and have their own lives that telling them you love them is like gulping a gallon of condensed milk. You know how it feels like, right?

4. You are becoming too old  when: you are not following what you committed. What I mean by this is that old people don't keep their word. They say things, promise things, plan things - which will never see the light of day.

5. You are becoming too old when: you get easily aggravated (manluod). Yes, keep tab on this one as this is a telltale sign of rushing to the wrinkle age.

6. Don't ever lose your sense of adventure! If you are starting to say "I've done that already... Too tired for that..Too old for that.." Well, you may be very right, you are too old.

7. Don't assume you are right ALL the time. Yes, you can never be right all the time, but the easiest way out is just to accept and say sorry when you are wrong as immediately as possible.

As of this moment of writing, I can only list 7, but I know as Im getting "wiser" I can certainly add more things.

It is ok to grow old - it is natural, unless you are a vampire, but don't rush it you have lots of time!

--.--.--

On Why Im Pissed

Firstly, I hate incompetent people. I thrive at competition. Friendly, contructive type of. There's nothing more satisfying when you triumph over, or if you lose - gain valuable lessons and insights you can use for your next battle.

Then there's the whole lot about risks and gains. Greater risks equates to bigger gains, supposedly right? What I don't get on this place is its rotten environment. People are in a way connected but distant. Some are helpful but with agenda. Others are brilliant but does not want to help. Still others are truly useful but unsharing.

I know every company has these type of people I described, but here they are way out of the normal proportions.

So Im whining. It happens to me once in a while. Letting my frustration out, emptying my brain. Nothing serious. I should whip my own business and get into a whole new dimension of trouble for once, but what business?

To begin, now Im having a renaissance love with programming. I lost it, I have to admit. But I regained it now. But I dont know where to start, where to begin. I left with Java and now Im crushing with .Net C#, and all those mobile development that is so hot right now. But Im effectively a newbie on this aspect technically.

I know, too many "buts". Im just letting out my frustration, Im not really thinking of a solution. Im just dumping it all in. So back to this environment, its getting tiring everyday. Everyday is a new problem day or getting away from a problem or facebook day!

That's my only resolve at this point, I can social network all I want! Heheh, social network as a verb. What to do now? Tomorrow is a working day, so work and try to make things done. Resolve and hope that everything will be ok. Im still not comforted but I got nothing to write about.

An Act

Everything is an act
Sometimes you do it overtly
You need an acting lesson
To shield your incapacity

That's true
Im saying this to you
How can you always find faults
Not in yourself, always at someone else?

Incompetence you embody
Is sickening, and stressing
Talk about this and talk about that
Always not you, someone's a foe

So if I ever turn this piece to a melody
I would say,  Adieu!
Go to the place where they burn souls
You belong there, am sure you do

The problem is not only other people
Mainly the problem is 90% after T.
The whole place is a mess
Everyone's talking and taking their own shit

The facade is not even convincing
I'm not a believer anymore,
You lost me at "unique"
So I'll go my way even if I'll stray

Someday you can read this,
And overheat that dying cells in your head
Exercise it a little maybe
By deciphering if this is you baby!

Baguio The 3rd

Oops. Looks like this blog is creepily becoming like a travel log.

2008. 2009. 2011 - this year is the year I went back to Baguio.  

We stopped over at Am'z tita's place to leave our bags so that we can sight see Manila's historic place of Luneta and nearby locations without lugging our luggage :). 

Many, many thanks to their graciousness, they are so kind and welcoming. Tito Arnel's wisdom is inspiring, should be like that when Im older. 

It is definitely an artist's house - the dinner table, mobile sculptures, stack of paintings, and most amazingly is the wolf and sheep fur! Loved it, its my first time to touch a real dead-animal fur. 

Baguio Bound.

We arrived at Baguio around 7am and it was foggy ang cold. It was such a nice feeling when the cold wind is touching your skin. 

It's my third time, and it already feels like home. I can definitely stay in Baguio for long periods of time if I have somebody to stay while here and not stay in hotels or inns. I wish I have relatives in this part of the Cordilleras.  

First stop is the most famous of Baguio streets, Session road. 

It is still the same, with the traffic and cars parked on the road sides and makes it even more crowded. However the chaos it looks, it still is a charmer. Maybe because of the cold weather, people doesn't mind the disorder.  

The rain only deterred us a little on our scheduled walks to famous places tourists should visit. It always does so in the afternoon, a good thing because we are tired anyways from all the walking in non plain roads. 

Burnham park - check. 

Boat @ Burnham - double check. 

Biking - check 

On our 2nd day we visited Wright park, the Mansion, Mine's view and the Botanical garden. So much green parks. I wish every city in the Philippines have at least one Botanical garden-esque park to pride of.  

The 3rd day was spent at the Philippine Military Academy. It is a HUGE area! Precipitation comes in 2 forms here. Fog and rain. Fogs has this effect of making your surroundings eerily mysterious when they are all covered in white. 

We did not forget to bring pasalubong of course. I only bought two sling bags and 3 jars of strawberry jam for home.

Goodbye.

Going back to Cebu on this super early flight, needs to work later. Ahh, and for the record I can now sleep on the bus! My next target is to sleep on the plane :D 

Baguio rocks! And cool too...

The Trade-offs of Free Lunch

Im super hungry!

I can buy food for myself but this is free lunch - ok not totally free, but 36pesos partly free but uber delicious lunch~!

I have to wait...

Palawan Natural

Though I only stayed for 3 short nights, I like to live there when I'm dusty and grey (though I have grey hairs now, Im not yet ready to let go of the city life). Definitely, one of the places where nature still is "virgin" - at least in the nature-raped Philippines.


The food is great! Fresh seafoods, fruits and delicious dishes. I ate like a king every night. Our first destination was the Bilao at Palayok place. It got a Japanese style as you would sit on the floor and not on chairs. But the food is all Filipino, and served in a large bila-o. Assorted delicious food!


On our second night, we dined at Kinabuch. And at that night I ate for the first time crocodile meat cooked ala adobo, and mangrove-worm locally known as "tamilok" ala kilawin. Of the two exotic, I would love to be served croc meat anytime of the day, as for the worm - another check on my bucket list (things I thought I will never eat category).

Finally, the famed Ka Lui for our last night in Palawan. You have to get a reservation to be able to surely dine on this place. We were a little disappointed by their minimalistic menu, but that escabeche and sinigang sa coconut milk is something new to my taste. Their CR is so clean! They also have a gallery that depicts local painters. Overall, a great last night in Palawan.

They say that it's the journey and not the destination, however, travelling through Palawan it's definitely both!

Another UNESCO world heritage site, the Underground river is really a wonder of nature. It is just sad to note that some parts of it is vandalized, but since it is now protected we can hope for the best that it will be preserved for future generations. Once inside, you can see all these formations, the grandest is the "cathedral" where you can see religious icons formed naturaly from the drops of water.

Our second day is spent island hopping! While on the boat I can clearly see the mountains are covered with forests and not subdivisions. The sea is clear and blue. But God, there are jellyfish as big as a basketball floating around this time of the season.


Once on the island, our guide led us to snorkelling with the fishes. And they are numerous! We walked on the streches of white sand along the narrow, partially submerged part of snake island. Have a fun pictrial at Starfish island and see the reef where you can spot a giant clam and more fish!

Lastly but certainly not the least is our city tour - on the 3rd day. We toured Mitra's ranch and bought hopia and other goodies at Baker's hill. We also had the opportuity to visit the crocodile farm where I've never seen such a giant crocodile in my life and those baby crocs in the hatchery.

I left Palawan on a sunny afternoon, but its memories will have a special place in my heart and most specially in my stomach.