The Dreaded Tuesday Meetings

It's Tuesday once again.

I have a new reason why I hate Tuesdays as of late.
I've been included in this weekly meeting update about my project, it's not a bad thing though. However, I'm still not meshed into the project that all I know is just superficial things about it. I say it's not my fault, I'm not guided as to what nook or cranny to inspect. I'm just left there to rot on pdf files and more pdf files to read.

I'm dreading the idea of one day being thrown into the fire and will just stare them back with a blank teary eyed gaze.

I keep saying it's not my fault, "it's not my fault". I've asked them the roadmap and all I get is a delay because they're busy with work, and I know that there's a point in the future that I will be the delay they'll be concerned about.

I hope I'm not prophetic though, I don't want to be the cause of failure or be the failure for that matter. I want to be useful not an added weight into their already heavy workload. That's the reason I was hired, to lighten their loads.

It's still early to tell my fate, I still have a full six months, already five months, probationary period and there's a planned big activity next month that maybe will test my usefulness. Until then.