Me: Worrier

Now I found out why I'm such a worrier. It's in the genes.
Even though I tried as hard as I can not to worry, I worry. I worry even in my sleep, it creeps to me like water on sponge.

Through the years though I have attempted and guessed triumph over worrying too much by taking risks, moving away from my home, a side trip to another career that is something new and unexpected of me, being literally in some place new. Those things I've done introduces to so much uncertainty that my mind just shuts up because it cannot calculate and analyze each and every possibilities, I know it sounds ridiculous but looking in retrospect it holds some truth. Being away from my comfort zone made me more spontaneous and a little less worried.

Being back to a comfortable place makes me worry, in an ironic sense. I worry because I have nothing to worry about. I worry about small insignificant details that I shouldn't need to worry about, I worry about things that though I am involved can't do anything about it and worrying just makes no sense, I know that I should not worry, but here I am worrying.

Remember when I said that it's genetic? Yes, it is. I think I got t from my father's side. Well to give you a short glimpse, my father is currently not well because he was recently diagnosed with an enlarged heart. In the stories that I've heard when he talks to my aunt (who accompanies him to hospital and doctor visits) I knew that he worries a lot, and I mean a whole lot.

I'm worried by my father's health and more on his mental health (he is not taking his illness well).
I'm worried by my own health and job insecurities (you've read about it here and there's no need to discuss).
I'm worried that all will be lost.

So help me God.