That Sinulog 2014 Talk

The person I considered to be one of my bestest friend came back in Cebu this Sinulog. Sadly, this will be the last time we will see each other (maybe for a little while in Manila next month) for at least 3 yrs. She will be going to the US to pursue her studies in MS and maybe find a job there afterwards. I will surely miss her. Yes she lives in SG and we don't really talk that much or see each other that much but the US is that far.

We talked a lot, jumping from topic to topic. We only have a limited time to update ourselves with what is happening on both our lives. This is one person i can totally be myself without fear of being judged or not caring of.

One thing memorable from our talk is how time flies fast. She had nephews and nieces, cousins that are already teenagers (she remembers then as still kids) making "mano" to her. Then we talked about love.

She has been married for 2yrs now. And i asked her, how's married life? I got an answer which is not really shocking or new, but is something of a validity on how I viewed married life. It is not a fairy tale! Sadly, there are many roadblocks to those happy ending we so often see in movies. Love fades. The two "kilig" people are now familiar with each other that somehow diminishes that factor. What I remember is respecting the other person. There is also that "not quitting" when life is testing you.

And then "how about you?". I was asked.

Yes, I said it gets lonely sometimes now that we reached this age. Most of our friends are married, busy working, working abroad, have kids - that even though today is Sinulog, the liveliest Cebu can be in a year, where parties abound left and right, we opted to stay at starbucks to have this conversation. But it is the conversation I needed to realize things. A sort of introspection. What am I doing in my life?

I am stuck. Stuck in this phase of life. I am in my early 30s now but it is like Im still mid twenties.

I don't have a relationship that can somehow bloom into a forever tale someday. Not yet. Not ever?

And yes I got afraid. I felt that sting of being alone. Yes I got loads of friends. But every year these people get engaged, get married, go somewhere place, have kids, change priorities. And I'm still here.

What will I do now? How can I enrich my life more?

So at this point I got only a thing to do. Pray.

Please Lord, let me find my purpose again. Let me live again.