Friday, February 24, 2012
Cave
Another revelation today, since we are technically still on the love month this is another love thing blog, I've become officially jaded when it comes to courting. This realization became affirmative after chatting with a former officemate. What happened to me is I think just a product of all the years of finding (more of failing to find) the one.
I lost the thrill of chasing for someone I like to like me in return. It is not entirely true, specially in our culture, that the girl who you like who really likes you also will just nod and be in a relationship with you when asked. No! No matter how many times you seen it on TV dramas and movies, it is not a representation of the real world! Unless maybe if you have the body and looks of a Hollywood star i.e Channing Tatum then you can get a free pass, make that an express pass to smooch land.
In the reality I live in, you have to express your desire for someone, make it known to them. They may repel you and drop the F-bomb (friendship thing) on you but this should not stop you from chasing them. Of course there are exceptions for every rule, but majority says that the girls just want to be appreciated more, you should show your love more, more and more of more. You can feel that your effort is affecting her by the way she responds to your requests, gifts or mere presence.
I got a story I've personaly witnessed weeks ago while commuting on a jeep. The girl sitting next to me is this pretty thin fair highschool girl. Sitting on her left side is this college guy with glasses and says he does not know Cebu or the language. I was seated on the girl's right side. The jeep was packed that time so I clearly heared the entire conversation.
Guy: Ms, excuse me what is the meaning of "kinsa?"
Girl: (stunned at first but politely answered) "who"
Guy: how about "asa "
Girl: "where"
Now this is where it goes from being a stranger asking for his way to creepy this could possibly be a maniac at loose.
Guy: you in college?
Girl: in high school
Guy: you have facebook?
Girl: ( caught by surprise) Ahm what???
Guy: facebook do you?
The girl gave her fb details, to which the guy promptly saved on his cellphone. Then he ask if she could be searched and the girl said that her account is private. After a moment, the guy said "lugar lang" in perfect Cebuano, accents and all - I know being a local that the guy speaks Bisaya - that he just pretended not to speak Bisaya to strike a conversation with the girl and get her details. It was such a move that made a grin on my face when I realized what was happening.
That is precisely the thing I lost, the courage to put myself out in the open, or to just try to chase someone I like, to make an effort, to make an impression that "hey lady I have a thing for you, and I can make you a fire using sticks!" I lost that feeling in my cave where there's no fire burning for such a long time now.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Summary Dekada
It dawned on me while walking one fine afternoon that another chapter of my life is about to close and another is springing to begin. Call it the big 3-0 excitement though that is still months away from now. Maybe it is time to reflect on the things I did during this decade of my life.
To start, when I was 20, I was still in college. Struggling to graduate compsci. Listing all my adventures during college deserves another lenghty entry, so I will just skip to 21 when I graduated and had my first job.
For the nearly 4 years up to when I was 25 I worked in Epson, working as a programmer - one of my best learning time and I may dare say the peak of my career. Tasted love and things that comes with it. Grown up a lot and learned about the complexities of life and the consequences of the choices I made. A lot of things on almost all facets of life I've learned at this point. Met people that will become a part of my life for years to come.
I enrolled myself back to school but this time to an entirely different field -teaching. I flew to Manila to try living independently. I spent an entire year, and at 26 yrs old gone totally independent. Got my teacher's license and went back to Cebu to try this new field, unfortunately it did not worked out well as I planned it.
27 year old me saw the world in a recession. Got stucked in a job that did not really improved my skills. They say that life is like a wheel, there are ups and downs and looking at it in retrospect, that was one of my lowest point. Got axed from my job because the company closed.
A ray of light shown its streak when I was 28, I got a job that put me back on track to where my heart should, and is continuing to be where my heart is. This is the point where I got to pull myself back and slowly got to be truly matured and grownup.
Then I hit the last year of being 20, and I want to start a new beginning. There are still many things in life I want to experience, accomplish, see. Life has to be lived. It is easy to be alive, you just have to eat, sleep, breathe. It is harder to live life because you got to make choices and be there experiencing the world.
If there is one thing that I will never trade for anything is meeting the people I knew that one way or the other influenced me, taught me, became a friend, see other aspects of life being lived that is totally opposite to mine, - there are too many to name.
To all the people I met in college, Epson, Ideyatech, Playtech, CTU DPE, CTU SpEd, CTU Early Childhood, NCR and to the friends of my friends whom I've met in outings - a big thank you. You and sometimes I myself doesnt know it but certainly everyone I met has made a dent in my life.
This is not definitely a goodbye, but a reminder to myself that the next decade of my life should be lived to the fullest because time cannot be paused or rewinded, it only goes on without waiting for anyone's approval.
So a note to myself is to keep hoping, dreaming and living ! To the next chapter...!!!
To start, when I was 20, I was still in college. Struggling to graduate compsci. Listing all my adventures during college deserves another lenghty entry, so I will just skip to 21 when I graduated and had my first job.
For the nearly 4 years up to when I was 25 I worked in Epson, working as a programmer - one of my best learning time and I may dare say the peak of my career. Tasted love and things that comes with it. Grown up a lot and learned about the complexities of life and the consequences of the choices I made. A lot of things on almost all facets of life I've learned at this point. Met people that will become a part of my life for years to come.
I enrolled myself back to school but this time to an entirely different field -teaching. I flew to Manila to try living independently. I spent an entire year, and at 26 yrs old gone totally independent. Got my teacher's license and went back to Cebu to try this new field, unfortunately it did not worked out well as I planned it.
27 year old me saw the world in a recession. Got stucked in a job that did not really improved my skills. They say that life is like a wheel, there are ups and downs and looking at it in retrospect, that was one of my lowest point. Got axed from my job because the company closed.
A ray of light shown its streak when I was 28, I got a job that put me back on track to where my heart should, and is continuing to be where my heart is. This is the point where I got to pull myself back and slowly got to be truly matured and grownup.
Then I hit the last year of being 20, and I want to start a new beginning. There are still many things in life I want to experience, accomplish, see. Life has to be lived. It is easy to be alive, you just have to eat, sleep, breathe. It is harder to live life because you got to make choices and be there experiencing the world.
If there is one thing that I will never trade for anything is meeting the people I knew that one way or the other influenced me, taught me, became a friend, see other aspects of life being lived that is totally opposite to mine, - there are too many to name.
To all the people I met in college, Epson, Ideyatech, Playtech, CTU DPE, CTU SpEd, CTU Early Childhood, NCR and to the friends of my friends whom I've met in outings - a big thank you. You and sometimes I myself doesnt know it but certainly everyone I met has made a dent in my life.
This is not definitely a goodbye, but a reminder to myself that the next decade of my life should be lived to the fullest because time cannot be paused or rewinded, it only goes on without waiting for anyone's approval.
So a note to myself is to keep hoping, dreaming and living ! To the next chapter...!!!
Monday, February 06, 2012
Tsunamipocalypse
February 6, 2012 - A strong magnitude 6.7 earthquake was felt in Cebu City. That's the news headline. Let me take you to that particular moment from my own eyes.
So its near 12 noon, I am preparing to leave the office because I have to attend a kiddie birthday party of my friend's son and Im bringing my 2 yr old niece. I have to go home and fetch my niece, the party starts at 2pm in SM. At work I was just uploading the lane images to the ftp server when.
I felt my table shook. At first I just disregarded it as "ok an earthquake, it happens". Then the scariest 16secs of my life, the whole office just shook, the ceiling, the floor, my desk, everything. It is moments like this that the reality dawns on you that you are this tiny speck that is so fragile. My knees shook violently and as people around me realized that this is not just one of those shakers, we were all lead tothe exit.
In those 16 seconds the lights went out, and the alarm sounded. You just want to get out from inside the building quick. Knowing the facts that our floor has many cracks because of the heavy lane equipments - it is a scary thought that it may just collapse - didn't help my imagination.
Thankfully, nothing catastrophic happened. We were all safely lead to the open grounds - practice do makes perfect because our building has this twice a year fire/earthquake drill.
It was around 1pm that I got out of the office. Im running late for my 2pm kiddie party and when I went home, I quickly got my niece and rode a taxi. The streets are becoming congested because of some work and schools are suspended. We were nearing SM, just within the vicinity of Mabolo church when the cinematic happened.
People are running, frantically. Their faces are scared as if there is something that will swallow them alive. I was to get out of the taxi, because admittedly some fear in my system creeped. The taxi driver told me to ask first what happened. I called someone but nobody is answering my queries, so the driver said that it is a tsunami scare. And who wouldn't be afraid, SM sits on reclamed land and just a few kilometers away is the pier. The taxi driver pointed out to me that looking at the road ahead, there are still vehicles running so we went straight to SM.
Upon arriving, I saw many people outside of SM. I thought if the tsunami will indeed come, it is better to be inside than outside. I went inside and lo and behold, shops are closed and the people who are inside are either crying, calling, hysterical. The only people who are in their presence of mind are the guards who inspects the stalls and the mall's vicinity and the entry gates. Jolibee's door is half closed and nobody is celebrating a birthday as I observed from the outside.
I was looking at the road and looking for signs that the sea had overflown but none. I decided to just walk to IT park where Im sure there is food as Im hungry and the stalls in SM are closed. I walked carrying a 2 yr old weighing 10kilos at a distance of approx 5km. My sweat fell like rain that time. While I was walking, thousands are also walking towards highland, and the roads are all packed. There are trucks,vans, cars full of people with their bag of clothes. They are barely moving because of the heavy traffic. If the tsunami indeed happened, those stuck in traffic will die first because they cant escape from their vehicles that easily.
It was an excruciating walk. I did ask if this was all real. Is this really happening? I realized it is real and it is happening!
I arrived in IT park, exhausted and hungry. My niece is hungry too. She ate like one order of french fries all by herself. I was busy updating facebook and twitter. After eating, another short walk from IT park to JY, thankfully we rode a jeep and back to home. We arrived safely.
Moments after, an aftershock shook our house, and another one after a few hours. Today is the day that Cebu shook its bonbon.
So its near 12 noon, I am preparing to leave the office because I have to attend a kiddie birthday party of my friend's son and Im bringing my 2 yr old niece. I have to go home and fetch my niece, the party starts at 2pm in SM. At work I was just uploading the lane images to the ftp server when.
I felt my table shook. At first I just disregarded it as "ok an earthquake, it happens". Then the scariest 16secs of my life, the whole office just shook, the ceiling, the floor, my desk, everything. It is moments like this that the reality dawns on you that you are this tiny speck that is so fragile. My knees shook violently and as people around me realized that this is not just one of those shakers, we were all lead tothe exit.
In those 16 seconds the lights went out, and the alarm sounded. You just want to get out from inside the building quick. Knowing the facts that our floor has many cracks because of the heavy lane equipments - it is a scary thought that it may just collapse - didn't help my imagination.
Thankfully, nothing catastrophic happened. We were all safely lead to the open grounds - practice do makes perfect because our building has this twice a year fire/earthquake drill.
It was around 1pm that I got out of the office. Im running late for my 2pm kiddie party and when I went home, I quickly got my niece and rode a taxi. The streets are becoming congested because of some work and schools are suspended. We were nearing SM, just within the vicinity of Mabolo church when the cinematic happened.
People are running, frantically. Their faces are scared as if there is something that will swallow them alive. I was to get out of the taxi, because admittedly some fear in my system creeped. The taxi driver told me to ask first what happened. I called someone but nobody is answering my queries, so the driver said that it is a tsunami scare. And who wouldn't be afraid, SM sits on reclamed land and just a few kilometers away is the pier. The taxi driver pointed out to me that looking at the road ahead, there are still vehicles running so we went straight to SM.
Upon arriving, I saw many people outside of SM. I thought if the tsunami will indeed come, it is better to be inside than outside. I went inside and lo and behold, shops are closed and the people who are inside are either crying, calling, hysterical. The only people who are in their presence of mind are the guards who inspects the stalls and the mall's vicinity and the entry gates. Jolibee's door is half closed and nobody is celebrating a birthday as I observed from the outside.
I was looking at the road and looking for signs that the sea had overflown but none. I decided to just walk to IT park where Im sure there is food as Im hungry and the stalls in SM are closed. I walked carrying a 2 yr old weighing 10kilos at a distance of approx 5km. My sweat fell like rain that time. While I was walking, thousands are also walking towards highland, and the roads are all packed. There are trucks,vans, cars full of people with their bag of clothes. They are barely moving because of the heavy traffic. If the tsunami indeed happened, those stuck in traffic will die first because they cant escape from their vehicles that easily.
It was an excruciating walk. I did ask if this was all real. Is this really happening? I realized it is real and it is happening!
I arrived in IT park, exhausted and hungry. My niece is hungry too. She ate like one order of french fries all by herself. I was busy updating facebook and twitter. After eating, another short walk from IT park to JY, thankfully we rode a jeep and back to home. We arrived safely.
Moments after, an aftershock shook our house, and another one after a few hours. Today is the day that Cebu shook its bonbon.
Sunday, February 05, 2012
The Love Month
1 planet.
7 continents.
196 countries.
almost 7 BILLION people.
- and I'm still SINGLE.
Yeah, welcome to the dreaded LOVE month. In a few days everything will magically turn into red, flowery and fluffy environment. Restaurants will be full of love doves without wings. Hotels, motels, and any room with available bed will be occupied for that act of expressing love or populating the world or just scratching that proverbial itch.
Ok, let me rephrase that, Im not dreading February. Im just not a big fan of it. Of all the months, I am happy that February is the shortest, damn this year it is a leap year! Anyways, I don't dread the whole February, just the day before salary day which coincidentally falls on the 14th.
St. Valentine's Day as it is called, Araw ng mga Puso for us Filipinos, the whole world celebrate this 14th day of February as the day to overly express your love. For most of us when we say expression of love, we immediately think of the opposite sex. However, we can express love to our parents, our siblings (if you have one), our friends, to the less fortunate people and more. There are more people out there where love is needed and Valentine's day may be more meaningful if you shared it with them.
So that's my plan for this year's Valentine's day, celebrate it with someone I love... and in case you misread the first few sentences above, I repeat that I am SINGLE this time (and for awfully a long time now) so that someone I love is not a romantic interest, but someone that I wanted to make happy and share my time with.
To the rest of my peers and people out there who does have someone to spend the V-day that is romantic, I have the following words. Make sure it is legal - with your legal partner, legal age and in a legal place. Make sure it's SAFE - wear protection if you are not trying to conceive, absolutely wear protection if you are doing it for other purposes and with someone you barely know. Make sure it is meaningful - life's too short to waste time, tomorrow may not come at all.
To all people who have a heart, and more correctly to all the people who feels, a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
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