That

Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions. It's just a  part of life to make one at least a dozen times, right? Who doesn't? I don't know one that didn't. Rich, poor, educated, street smarts - ALL of us had made one. And today I have to make one - a really difficult one.

Ok, not to tease or something, let's rewind a little, back a few uncertain years ago, when the world is just this beautiful place (at least a beautiful place in my memory) - simple, ignorant but blissful. The world when I was still on - my diapers (were diapers already in existence back then?) ok not that past please. A little forward in time, ok steady, a little more adjustment... to this particular time. 

I was young, tall, not so dark, and definitely... never-mind. I was walking when suddenly I fell, on my knees, in the pavement of, wait a minute, a mall. You can just imagine my embarrassed face as I try to get up and seeing all those people's judgmental look. I can imagine cartoon character's dialog bubble over their heads with "Klutz", "Hahahaha...", "What happen?" labels dangling. So I fell, what's the big deal?

I went on straight to what I need to buy that day. A stuffed toy. For a friend. Ok for the "that" girl. 

More memories are coming in while I'm writing this, on this rainy evening. Continuing...

 So I went into the store, sorted through their merchandise, checking the size, color and "feel" but most importantly - the price. I just wanted to have the perfect stuff for a perfect price. Nah, I just don't have enough money back then (and until now, but I digress). 

I have this nice little fluffy thing on my hand, and as I was walking towards the cashier I realized that I left my wallet (wait I don't have a wallet even before) - I mean I don't have enough money to buy it. Out of personal embarrassment and hoping that the sales lady did not notice me dropping out of the line, I quietly left the store.

But I still need to give something to "that" girl. It was her birthday and I have to give her something. We will be meeting at the mall about an hour that day and I just have to give her something. I tried my luck, and being poor on probability theory I gambled on the toy grabber machine (I don't know the exact name, it's that machine where you drop a coin and the claws move and you try to grab a toy and drop it in the pit) - and I lost. 

I don't only have lesser money than what I already had, I still didn't have a gift for "that" girl.

The time came that we meet and I was not ready to tell her about the crazy thing I did just to give her a gift, so I just bought her a sundae and that made "that" girl smile. It was awesome, the feeling of being smiled at - honestly I don't remember the feeling, but it must be just awesome.

And for those who maybe asking who "that" girl is, you can guess, but I wont tell. And it's probably not who you think, remember the timeline?

Back to that difficult decision I have to make now, which is more delicious Balamban liempo or Sr. Pedro? I have to pick a favorite and my stomach can't decide.

Maybe

You made me confess
You made me tell my story
A geniune me is in your hands

You tell me your stories
Your fights and your worries
A genuine you, a person that's true


However, times changed
Truths becomes lies
Sadly lies becomes good enough truth
To ease the pain
Of being open, and being seen

Stories we tell
Are now half truths, half baked in an oven
The fire still burns but it does not burn the same
How did we come to this when we started
As true as the sun and wind?

Going back maybe
I confessed
I told my story
I'm genuine in your hands

But

You were just MAYBE.

Book

Meaning I found in you is lost when you're not around
The dictionary only provides the definition 
But its not the meaning my heart is bound.


In our last kiss our bodies were together 
Yet we know that time passes and we were sure
This moment lasts nowhere near forever


In my mind, I keeep imagining that there must be someone else
Whom have gotten the sweet love that we once have
For there is a rule that nothing is lost in this universe


On my journey to my next princes, or my maiden in distress
I'm hoping a great fire of desire
To quench this aching and blistering heart and soul of mine


But most of all, aside from burning passion and ecstasy of love
The desire to have someone, always, Im looking at that book
Buried deep inside my heart that tells the story of who I am

Real

Looking for that special someone takes guts. For me that categorizes myself as timid when it comes to dating, I find it tedious to "sell" your myself.

I remember when I was very young, my parents tell me not to get married early (or get someone else pregnant). I can safely say that they have succeeded in teaching me to enjoy life being single and unattached.

Have I been to a relationship? Absolutely. Many quotes says that it is important to love, be loved and experience love and of course warns of its evil twin, hurt. Have I stumbled? Yes!

Does this makes me jaded of sort about love? Maybe. In my observation from the people around me, close friends, relatives, not so close friends - even those of showbiz, it is hard to keep a relationship.

So what's the point of being in a relationship? Someone you can share something about? Someone to touch or hold your hand in the cold? I guess most of those things apply and more.

Being single doesn't mean Im alone though. I wasn't looking but then as fate would reveal, there she is staring back, not at me but through me.

No words escaped my mouth as she can read my mind. She holds my hand and it feels like Im holding eternity. The feel of her warmth on my skin is heaven on earth. She is perfect, and I found perfectness.

There is only one problem.

She is not real.

--Untitled--

Can't let you go, not because I still have romantic feelings for you, but because you were a big part of who I am today. Losing you is tantamount to losing a big chunk of myself. Who am I today is partly an effect of what I've been through with you.

Your friendship is a thing I want back. That's the truth, nothing less and nothing more. No agenda, no conspiracy.

It may be hard and I may fail but this time it doesnt matter if I win or lose as long as I tried. I'm getting tired of me being your 3rd letter of the alphabet in reverse, and I assume that you too feel the same.

Dreamful Day

A tropical depression during summer? Wacky! - this is a fact not a dream!

Anyways, back to the dream. 

I was walking towards the airport entrance. Then suddenly out of nowhere, I see a lightning strike, and heard a booming sound. I was scared. Then I saw this dark swirling clouds and it became very dark. My id or a picture of me was swept away by the wind. I decided not to go with my flight and instead go home.

I was hopping from stone to stone because the roads are flooded.

Somehow I reached home. When I was there, Clyde wanted to borrow my ipod because he wants to play with it - in an arcade game with someone else's ipod. I said no. An unrecignized lady asked me to install some software on her ipad. I realized that her ipad version is 6, while my ipod version is 9. 

Then I was with Juvy, she said she is coming by May and would see us on the 15th because she only has a few days to stay and very busy. 

-and with most dreams it ended.

Friendster. Diary/Scrapbook/Social Networking. 2011

sky tol Jan 16, 2006 06:21 PM 

Kani c dwight,

 bwahahaha katawa nalang ko daan kay para seriousness na daun. Usa ka tao nga tinuod, kung imu cyang tan awon, naa cyay ulo, lawas ug nawng sa tao...heheheh. Btaw, he is a real person dili plastic (kaila man kaha mo ug plastic). Ang akong dili malimtan niya kay ang iyang pagka inosente (sa una rato noh! naka uyab na bya ni akong migo karon). Kung naa koy activity or contest sa una, mo tabang gyud ni cya nako (of course, g sweldohan mani nako...heheeh joke). Hantod karon, gamay ra ang iyang kausaban. formal na kunuhay ni cya kay naman c marites..mao ra to cya next time nalang ang uban....

Marianne Pepito Sep 25, 2005 09:43 PM 

hello dwight....hehehhehe...i knew dwight since highschool, childish kaayo and he still acts this way despite his age...but being that, i still love him that way, mabait na kaibigan..he'll gonna stick with u through thick & thin...that's why i treasured his friendship so much

 thanks dwight for being a friend to me, i'll always cherished the memories we shared way back in highschool... :)

 keep up...good bless

 always, 

marianne :)

Jo Alfafara-Fenton Sep 01, 2005 01:49 AM 

hajimemaste douzo yoroskio, dwite!!! he's a very nice jolly, easy to be with, super mabait? hehehhe mabait talaga. I personally knew him when we had our overnight gimmicks sa dalaguete...yah!!! bestfwen, kapatid, karamay, kasangga ni marites besin oi!!!! well, friendly kaayo ni cya and you will surely got a happy day when you had his company. Secret ni dwite kusog mohagok lyk pagovernyt namo wd matching do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do hehheeh. peace, dwite! thanks diay sa imo company and all the chikka to the max. hope to see u soon!

Easter dela Calzada May 22, 2005 12:04 PM 

Dwight, mysterious lagi kyo imo

 pic?Hehehehe....Haven't seen this pal

 for about 5 years after graduation from

 highschool.....as far as I can remember,

 he is about a few inch taller than me

 and he is a bit innocent at that

 time...Pero karon? grabeh nka

 Dwight...dili nka matuohan...what

 happened to yah....nagrabehan siguro ug

 tubo? or what? Heheheeh.....bitaw..so

 many things have changed since the time

 we separate ways...halos dili nko kaila

 nimo.....grabeh na kyo manulti as in

 murag 30 nay edad...heheeheh...joke

 only..."mura ra man".....but I think he

 has grown man enough to take

 responsibilites and challenges in

 life....basin managhan ug maayo imo uban

 ha!!!kalmahe lang.....peace bro.....I

 wish you all the luck and blessing of

 God....may he always be the light unto

 your path......basta ayaw lang gyud ko

 ug kalimti....panglibre baya gyud

 ha...i-aprove gyud ni kay kapoy ug

 type...ako sad testimonial ha....

khristianie lauta Feb 04, 2005 05:47 PM 

sun certified dwight... dugay nako 

wa kita aning tawhana. well, he's a 

very simple guy. malingaw ni cyag 

tanaw ug mga salida. dvds dvds... 

hehe. lingaw sad kaau ni cya mu 

sturya. fun fun. maau sad kau mu 

program. he's one of our mentors

 (oa ra ang term!?) sa PRISM/PAT. 

WARNING: muhilom jud ni cya kaau 

if gigutom. heheheheh dba? then 

after kaon, ok na, normal. hehehe 

ayoayo dwAyT

Les Reyes Jun 08, 2004 06:53 AM 

C Dwight member jud na sya sauna sa 7 

dwarfs back in high school. Pro karon 

taasa na niya uy!! Graduate pa jud sa 

UP COMSCI the best. I know this man 

will work it's way to the top soon. 

Just don't forget kon magVictory party 

ka Dwight invite batch '99 ha? Kay 

mokaon jud me'g daghan bahala na..... 

ayo2x

Web Tan Apr 12, 2004 03:27 AM 

Helpful kaayo ni cya nga pagkatao. 

Every questions nako about computers, 

iya jud tubagon maski nakulitan na na 

cya.Tnx Dwight! Ang kapait lang mabun-

 og ka ani nya kay carino brutal kaau ni 

cya. Heheh...:)

Maryan Grace Tizon Mar 23, 2004 01:00 AM 

i met dwight twice, but it is as if 

i've known him for years already. one 

of the nicest guy i've ever met..he 

even watched the sound of music with 

us during christmas day. =) i admire 

he's simplicity. 'yano kaayo ni na 

tao..lay labad. from what i know, 

bangiitan pod ni cya mu program.. =) 

dwight will go a long way...mga 

girls..he's such a good catch!! =)

Frank III Manuel Mar 22, 2004 02:37 PM 

si ian? Java certified!!! twin ni 

nako! same height, same weight, same 

dako'g kaon pero dili mu-tambok!!! 

ngano bitaw dwight noh? weird.. Kani 

siya, super bright but super humble. 

(see: java certified). kataw-an lang 

ang mga job interviews, salig nadawat 

sa epson!! wahahaha!!! lingaw pud ni 

siya nga person. lingaw i-pluck ang 

hairs. (hehehehehe) corny pud mu-joke 

and all. keep up, dwight! bangka jud 

when you're rich ha!! bantay!!

maLenSky abad Mar 18, 2004 12:02 AM 

c dwight??? ang lalaking cge lang 

magbuwa ang baba gawas ug masakit! 

vitamins nalay nagpadagans lawas!! 

nhehehhe kusog manggunit ug 

manghapak,kusog sad makiglalis. pero 

that's just dwight...that's part of the 

whole unique package, ang iyang 

pagkabrutal!! his goal in life is to 

marry someone from the province..kanang 

mailad niya ba. hehehe he's the type of 

guy whose life story could be sent 

to "maalaala mo kaya", about sa iyang 

pagbloom as a programmer. idol!!! pero 

one thing i've realized is that he's 

actually very funny n i'm very 

delighted that he's one of my friends. 

charness! (",)

Anne Pabroquiz Mar 07, 2004 01:46 AM 

Si dwight?!? I used to call him brutal 

coz he really holds u tightly..as 

in..kusog manghapak..I always remember 

times where we go to Ayala with JM and 

talk everything about life..bisan 

unsa..naa gani ni sila sabot ni JM na 

magkauyab..as in..he's a gud friend and 

i really admire him for passing the 

java certification...grabe..he's also 

funny to be with and kulit kaau..he's 

also one of my bestest male 

friends...Love u dwight!!! u

Juvy Sosmena Feb 22, 2004 09:22 PM 

The most down-to-earth person i have 

ever met. No egoistic attitude 

whatsoever. He's also a very good 

programmer. Not just good but DAMN 

GOOD!!!:) He's easy to get along with. 

A very good friend and will make a very 

good teacher. Nindot jud cya mo-

 teach 'coz makasabot dayon ka. He's 

lifelong dream is to have a baby by the 

age of 28, in whatever possible way. 

HAHAHa!!

Cecilia Tizon Nov 26, 2003 09:10 PM 

Dwight is one of those people you feel 

comfortable with right after the first 

meeting. He's a very down-to-earth 

person with no egotism whatsoever. 

Dwight laughs at the corniest jokes and 

is funny himself, although he doesn't 

intend to be sometimes (Ask him to 

switch mouse and he'll drop the monitor 

filter, hehe). He's also a darn good 

programmer and a really good buddy.