R.E.M

Im not able to talk to you
Its impossible, you dont know me
Youre in your own pretty world
Im on my own messed up world
We're both at the ends of a spectrum

But there's a place where were best...

See you in my dreams
Where everything is alright
Where everything is what it should
Where you and me exist
You whispered my name and it is the sweetest
You touch my hand and it is the best
We run in unending green fields
Laughing till the seemingly endless day fades

With all dreams I need to wake up
It's inevitable, there's even no goodbye
It just fades, what felt so real is but a memory
It's not even a memory, but an imagination
Sleep as an escape to be on that fairytale state

So when I close my eyes I think...

You and me on an endless green field
Running, laughing, happy as it should
Where everything is alright
I whispered your name
And you smiled that sweetest smile
Your warmth is all the energy I need
Then the seemingly endless day fades

Light

It's mostly about me
Im overthinking everything
No action, just words
You pass me by day by day
You don't care my existence
Here I am by your side

If you want it, you can see me
Things will never be the same
For you, mostly for me
For us
Something new to feel
Something new to hold

Today, I sit by your side
You lean towards me
But its like you're leaning on a chair
Maybe we should walk
I secretly wish I am a dog
Wag my tail so you'll know

Cause, if you just want me
Then surely you can see me
In a new light, no need for sunlight
Even in the darkness
My heart leaks with light
For you and me, for us

Someday you'll see
In a cloudy day you'll remember
How I brightened your day

forgiveness

many years have passed since
i have broken your heart
i like to believe i have been forgiven
i like to believe we're friends again

we can talk easy and not dwell on the past
talk about the past but not our past
we don't relive the days of us
we relive the days before us

though you are with someone special
and i truly hope he's the one you've waited
destined to fill your days with love
still you've treasured me as a friend

i never let go because we had so much history
without that past i am not me
im thankful that whatever happened to us
you still forgiven me

you can consider this as my overdue apology
for the pain  i've caused that made you cry
for the tears i've caused to swell in your eyes
for the heartache that made you wish you'd die

and i thank you for letting me be a friend again
though i am not worthy to be one
thank you for not giving up on me
thank you for letting the past stay in the past

Long Time

Just broke my new year's resolution to have at least one blog entry a month. Work happens and a lot of procrastination to "write later", until I forget what to write. Story, hmm, let me think. I have lots of stories to tell let me start with....

I went to the Hot-Air balloon fiesta (February) in Clark Angeles Pampanga. ALONE! Yeah, went to the bus terminal to Dau and there! It was an incredibly hot, hot day! Being the spontaneous traveler that I am, I forgot to check that the hot air balloons are only lighted during the early morning and late at dusk. This, aside from the wind reasons, make them more romantic to look at. 

It was a great sight! Those huge balloons brings out the child in me. I'm amazed. I wanted to ride on it, but is too poor to afford it. Im still satisfied though with just seeing them with my own two eyes personally. Being alone in this journey, I was glad I borrowed a tripod and got some decent pictures of me with the balloons at the background.

My next story is.

Then Holy Week came. I did not booked a ticket home-bound. Instead I decided to go to Puerto Galera. ALONE! Puerto Galera off the coast of Mindoro. My first time ever to be there. Similarly, I just hop on the bus going to Batangas, then a ferry to Puerto Galera. It was modest by my standards. I've seen more beautiful beaches and on my opinion, Bantayan Island is more beautiful! I just stayed there for merely 3 hrs (against my almost 8 hrs of travel vice versa). Had a great pictures of the scenery and the beach but not of myself since I only brought my Lumia phone.

Then to nicely end this series.

My first time to surf! Yes did the real thing and not the web surfing Im so pro at. An office-mate invited me to go with her to La Union and though we aren't that close (we only met at one training and we aren't on the same floor and not on the same team) I decided to go. It's better to be out there than be at the malls where the security guards are now familiar with my face. 

It was a long ride to La Union (6 hrs). We arrived early at around 5am. Since the one who invited me already is a pro (they have a group that surfs regularly) and is surfing on the different, more "for pro" location, I tried to surf on my own.

It costs 400 per hour for a trainer and a board. I initially though "huh 1 hr?". I was so wrong. My body is not up for the beating of the waves and after many attempts, and failing, to stand up and balance on top of the surf board, my arms just gave up. I did however managed to stand up for at least 3 seconds and it meant the world to me! 

An hour passed and I can't even lift my body, cause my arms were so tired I cant even push my body up. Was so hungry and sleepy. The following day, I can't feel my arms. Actually, it felt so painful if I move it to change clothes, I literally ripped whatever muscle I have on my chicken-like arms.

But it was worth it. I will do surfing again soon, waves-willing. Hope to be invited again by my officemate-friend.

So that's it for the months I've been out blogging, I have been hopefully living.